 Image by Pexels Article by Josh MooreThere are endless tasks to take care of in the months and weeks leading up to having your baby, and one that should be prioritized is packing your hospital bag. While there are some essentials to remember, it’s also important to know what you don’t need. Use this guide to help you pack your hospital bag and be ready for your big day. If you need extra guidance, birth and postpartum doula Liz Foster can help. What you should bringWhen it’s time to jump in the car and race off to the hospital, you’ll be far too distracted to carefully pack a bag. This is where preparation comes in: it’s a great idea to pack a bag at least two weeks before your due date so you can be ready when the time comes. While each mother-to-be will have her own personal requirements, there are some big items that you can’t leave at home. One major must-have is a car seat: you’ll need a safe way to transport your new baby back home, and the hospital likely won’t even let you leave if you don’t have one ready to go. A change of clothes is vital for your big day. Along with packing an outfit for the ride back home, you’ll also want comfortable clothes to wear in the hospital. Many moms opt for a special labor gown, which is a great alternative to the scratchy and unflattering gowns that hospitals typically have on hand for birthing moms. When you’re picking one out, try to find one that’s as comfortable as your favorite tee and that’s functional enough to be worn during labor. It’s also a great idea to bring a nice top to wear in photos with the baby. It’s normal to feel pretty worn out after labor, so a flattering shirt will make you feel beautiful in photos. You can get a great top even if you’re on a budget — check online for an Old Navy promo code to get discounts when you buy. Other important items to bring include any medications and special toiletries such as contact lens solution. Bring documents like your insurance policy information and driver’s license and a pen for ease in filling out forms. You’ll need a cell phone and charger to stay in touch with friends and family. If you’re working with a doula, first check with her to determine what items you can leave out of your bag. For example, many doulas will bring comfort items such as massage oil, tea lights, and a portable speaker to make the birthing process more soothing. You may even want a book or magazine if you’re being induced as there may be some downtime. What NOT to bringAlong with knowing what essentials to bring with you to the hospital, there are a few items that aren’t worth taking along. For example, the hospital will provide many items that are essential such as diapers. If you’re unsure, check with your hospital to learn what items they plan to provide for you and your new baby.
It’s not usually necessary to bring baby clothes to the hospital — they’ll likely send you home with a onesie. However, if your baby comes in the winter, you might want to pack extra blankets to keep them warm for the drive home. Another item you might consider leaving at home is snacks. Many birthing mamas aren’t in the mood for snacks during labor. However, a couple of granola bars won’t take up too much space and could help your partner make it through the labor if you don’t have the stomach for it. Packing for the hospital will likely make the birth feel far more real and imminent. While you may feel inclined to overpack, try not to load too many items into your hospital bag. A simple labor gown and comfortable clothes, plus a cell phone, charger, important documents, and ID cards will be sufficient. Just don’t forget the car seat. Do you need some guidance as you prepare for the birth of your baby? Contact Liz Foster today to learn about her birth and postpartum doula services.
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 Avery Jane arrived at 9:45am on Friday, August 12, 2016! I was 39 weeks, 3 days and we are enjoying her so much. I rocked my VBAC with flying colors. There I was, 39 weeks and 2 days...it feels like an eternity when you’re almost to the finish line and you’re anxiously waiting for your new life as a family of four to begin. We went to my 39 week appointment and I was 4-5 cm, as per usual for the past couple weeks, same as with Jackson. Apparently my body works well with pregnancy even though I’m not your typically happy pregnant lady. But I love having my babies once they’re born. But the process is so taxing on me! I had sent a recipe to my mom for Labor Inducing Cookies so she invited me over the afternoon to see if they work. Here is the recipe: https://www.loveinmotion.net/blog/labor-cookies The instructions were to eat as many as your can stomach, take a nap and wait for labor to start! Seeing as this would be the only time in my life that I would be able to eat as many cookies as I wanted, I. ATE. 11...IN ONE SITTING! They resemble a spicy Christmas cookie and are super delicious. We will definitely be making them this holiday season! That evening, I took some Evening Primrose oil and waited for labor to commence. Around 9:30pm, I watch a little TV before turning in but something felt different, some cramping that had increased to a more than uncomfortable state. After 30 minutes of deciding that this was real labor, I went upstairs to wake up my husband John and tell him it is time. I called the midwife, who suggested to let her know when I’d like to go to the hospital. Being the indecisive person that I am, I waited for another 15 minutes and called everyone who needed to know that we were headed to the hospital: our doula Sabira Marike, photographer Kayla Raine Armstrong, Rachael, Lois, and Mireya, our neighbor who would watch Jack for us. I threw up the cookies mid-conversation with my photographer, bless her heart. I felt better after that, almost well enough to doubt if I should’ve alerted everyone so soon. But things were already set into motion so we dropped off Jack and headed to Castle Rock Adventist Hospital (best hospital food EVER!). My doula and birth photographer arrived to the hospital around midnight, once we were all settled into our room. The same midwife I saw this morning for my checkup was there and on board with our birth plan and wishes, which was very comforting. We decided to strip my membranes to see if that would get things moving. Both Rachael and my mom had their phones off but I wasn’t worried. They would arrive in the morning if I didn’t have the baby by then. By about 3am, labor was fizzling out so we decided to sleep a bit, which was nice to get some rest before the main event. This photo below was a little bit of labor that night.  Shifts changed at 7:00am to new nurses and a midwife, a new one I had never met before in the practice. I was nervous because that had happened last time with Jack and everything went south very quickly, because we were not on the same page. However, my midwife Jen Holcomb was aware of what kind of birth experience we wanted and she was very accommodating. She said “Well, since you’re not having contractions anymore, we can technically send you home but since we’re here, let’s have this baby!” We decided to break my water to jump start labor again, so Jen broke my water with a long medical looking crochet hook at 7:30am. John stepped out to grab a breakfast burrito from downstairs and by the time he came back up 20 minutes later, contractions resumed but at a much higher intensity but were still felt bearable. I had been 5cm at my 39 weeks appointment the day before. When they checked me after the water breaking, I was at 6cm. Luckily the breaks between contractions were so merciful. I took a shower, which was helpful in focusing on anything other than the intensity of contractions. The wireless fetal monitors they required for me to have on at all times (due to trying for a VBAC) was excruciatingly annoying as it lost connection every time I moved a muscle, which meant a nurse would come back into the room less than every 5 minutes when a reading wasn’t detected. It was difficult to get into a labor rhythm with constantly trying to get the stupid monitors to read my baby’s heartbeat. Once I got out of the shower, contractions got much more intense. Shit got serious! No more laughing or talking in between contractions. These required my entire focus! John and Sabira were so supportive with the atmosphere and anticipating my needs. Music was going, my affirmation notecards taped to the bed, oil mists, colored diffuser running, birth art on the windows, dim lighting, counter-pressure, cold towels on my forehead and neck, guided meditations, and so much encouragement. I moved to a ball on the floor, leaning over the foot of the bed. Inside, I really didn’t want to have a long labor. Labor was getting very intense, so I asked to play a special song, Fight Song by Rachel Platten. For me, this song makes me cry every single time. This birth was so important to me, a redemption for all the pain and suffering from Jack’s pregnancy and birth (to read that, go here). I wanted to prove to myself that I am more than capable of having an unmedicated vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC). The first words of this song brought my into the present moment, seeing the contractions as waves, my baby working hard, my body moving her down. Then the song moves into proving others wrong and mustering up inner strength to complete what I set out to accomplish. Jack’s birth was so traumatic. The doctors took away my power and everything after that, I lost my voice to stand up for myself and my son. It was a very difficult path as a single mom, fighting for my son and myself. Please listen and tell me you can’t cry!  Like a small boat on the ocean, sending big waves into motion Like how a single word can make a heart open I might only have one match but I can make an explosion And all those things I didn’t say, wrecking balls inside my brain I will scream them loud tonight, can you hear my voice this time? This is my fight song, take back my life song Prove I’m alright song. My power was turned off Starting right now I’ll be strong I’ll play my fight song and I don’t really care if nobody else believes ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me. Needless to say, this song made me wail and weep with emotional grit, pain, and gumption to endure through this last leg of my birth journey. If you have ever gone through a difficult situation, believe me when I say that music can make you break any barrier or struggle. This was the moment in which I realized that the only person who could push me through the struggle of labor WAS ME. Nobody else was going to take the pain away BUT ME. Following this song, I’m not sure how much time had passed. I merely focused strongly on birth affirmations taped to my bed: Embrace this moment Just let go My body is so much stronger than my fear Relax, lose control, lose yourself My baby and I are working together to meet each other I find my your inner peace and calm Despite all my training with birthing classes, exercises, breathing, meditation, visualization, nothing prepared me for the moments in which my body took over and forced me to give into the natural urges to embrace the pain, not fight it. It’s a powerful moment to work with your body or avoid it altogether! But I was checked again still at a 6! I was distraught but knew I had to do something different. Instead of just managing contractions for what intensity they were, I realized I could actually bear down a bit with the power I’d been given by each surge to open up my cervix and guide my baby down. For some reason, I didn’t know I could do that, as if these contractions were just something my body was doing to get the baby out. “You mean I can do more than manage the pain?? Ok, I can totally do that.”  Labor dance I changed positions to lean against John. It was a beautiful swaying dance of resting on his chest in between contractions, then hanging from his neck and burying my face into his sternum.  Bearing down The intensity was so much that I felt the need to keep moving. I couldn’t stop moving. Nothing felt like it was working. At times, I wanted to escape but I knew there was a baby at the end, even though at times I literally forgot! Who forgets what pain they’re enduring to see an incredible end product of having a baby?!? I moved to the bed and hung over the top with the head of it raised. I wanted to give up. This was definitely transition, 8-10cm, my tipping point. John and I had a safe word for an epidural: E.T. I so badly wanted to say it. I knew I was so close to meeting my baby. My carnal noises were beginning to be gutteral, primally raunchy. In the moment, it was strange but felt so good to let it out. Grunting felt like I was urging my body to get this over with. For a moment, I remember how painful Jack’s birth was, with back labor, and it reminded me to be grateful for every graceful minute (or less) I had of rest in between contractions. How did I ever do this before with back labor?! I lost some focus, not managing my breath, not doing non-focused awareness. I was panicking so I asked for a ball. They gave me a peanut ball to straddle in bed. “Relax, Breathe, Feel the Earth, DO NOTHING EXTRA.”  My bedside affirmation Head in my hands, I worried that this whole natural route might’ve been a big mistake. “Mother Mary taped to me, doula guiding me through relaxation meditations, aromatherapy, stupid hypnobirthing, who am I kidding?! This is stupid. This fucking hurts!!!”  John could sense I had lost my cool, Sabira suggested I lay on my side with the peanut ball in between my legs. I obliged and hoped to distract myself back into confidence that this would be a good outcome. “You were made for this moment, Liz!” my green card on my bed says. “Screw you! This moment sucks!” I yell in my mind.  I flipped to the other side, trying to grasp something, hold onto something to anchor my composure. Sabira and John pounded pressure on my hips. I thought they could do my job for me and squeeze her out that way...Bummer, no good. I sat up, squatting on my knees to find what would do the trick in ending this battle. John held my hand as I regained some sense.  Note the time: 9:27am At 9:30, the midwife came back in to check me and she said I was a 10! Thank God! Ready to go! Let’s do this! OMG is this happening??? She knew this baby was coming fast. After all, I only labored for almost 4 hours with Jack before I was whisked away to the OR for an emergency cesarean. The light was at the end of the tunnel and it didn’t look like any signs were leading to an operating room, although there still was a legit fear that history might repeat itself. On my side again, she checked where baby was at. By this time, I heard my mom’s voice. MOM! She finally made it all the way down from Boulder Canyon where she had visited my sister and her family the night before. I thought “Why give your pregnant daughter labor cookies and leave for the mountains, you crazy woman?!?” But my mind was relieved to have my mom be there. She is good at taking care of me, such a good heart. I felt like I needed her just for this moment to give it all I had. Mom put a cool wet cloth on my forehead to cool me off. Thanks mom. I pushed for a good 10 minutes. As Avery gradually begins to emerge, I hear, “Oh wow, she has so much hair!!” I thought, “What?! Her head is out? OMG I’m doing this! I’m really doing it!! No turning back now. I gotta give absolutely everything I have in me.” John and Sabira both held my legs as I pushed down with all my might. Jen, the midwife, asked “Do you want to feel her head?” I shook my head no. Thinking back, I would have wanted to, just to feel what was truly coming out of me.  Pushing, like a BOSS They tell you to not squeeze your face muscles but when you have to push with every fiber of your being, you really have to push with EVERY FIBER. I tried not to so I focused my attention on relaxing my eyes, jaw and forehead. I didn’t want another popped blood vessel in my eye like last time. And I remember Ina May Gaskin (midwife goddess) saying in one of her talks that a loose jaw is an open vajayjay, so I did my best. I felt the midwife’s hands push down my perineum so as to make more room and to prevent tearing.  My sexy pushing face Suddenly, Jen said “Ok, Liz. Give me two really big pushes and you’ll meet your baby, ok? You can do this.” “DEAL!!” I gave the best and biggest 2 fucking badass grunted pushes of my life. The time had come! My baby arrived! I noticed John smiling from ear to ear and crying in awe and excitement to see our new baby. The baby we made together has finally arrived! I gave out an exhaustive sigh as I looked around to see the proud faces of nurses and family smiling and congratulating me. I did it! I pushed and “loved” my baby into this world! The struggle was over. The redemptive journey of my VBAC was over in a glorious victory! Praise Jesus!! Hallelujah!!! 10 minutes of pushing, are you serious? I’m sure some of you want to throw cabbage at your screen right now. I feel you ladies!!! I reached down to grab my baby, but Jen gently murmured, “Ok, the cord is wrapped around your baby’s neck and foot so we’ll just take that off.” John and my mom recalled later that they weren’t sure whether to be shocked, scared or neither about that statement. Jen lifted my beautiful and aware baby to my chest, while my doula lowered my gown to allow for a skin to skin embrace on the outside of this world. Oh the joy of ecstacy, to be rewarded with such a rush of pure contentment and gratitude! The nurses rubbed Avery a bit and gave her oxygen to revive some blood flow as she came out blue from the cord around her neck. I honestly don’t recall her crying, which is common amongst unmedicated “calm” births. However, I did find a documented photo of her first wails. It’s crazy the things women forget so quickly during pregnancy and birth!  Wailing and oxygen I closed my eyes in relief and pure joy to feel my new baby girl in my arms. Words don’t describe the miraculous beauty of this one magical moment. As if this moment couldn’t warrant any disturbance, the room came back into play. The pain reappeared in the version of placenta delivering. “Owwwww! How come the pain isn’t gone? Haven’t I worked hard and long enough? Is it not enough that I push a baby out, but now have to deliver a placenta too? Oh! And stitch me up please?!?” One of the nurses said, “Would you like painkillers now?” I exasperately exclaimed, “YES!!!” “Ok, hun, do you want a dosage equivalent to 2 glasses of wine or 4?” “4! Yes, 4!!!” The whole room giggled with approval. “You deserve it hunny” replied my mom. YES I DO! They flipped Avery over to cut the cord. John and Sabira interjected, stating that we desired to delay cord clamping until the cord stopped pulsating. A nurse insisted “After a minute, there’s no benefit.” Alas, one battle I didn’t care to fight about at that moment, even though I think we could’ve fought for a bit longer and won. The cord was still blue when they clamped it. John cut it and she was brought back up to me.  Notice the blue cord at the bottom and the white stripped cord at the top where the cut was made. The drugs kicked in quickly. Oh sweet Jesus, bless the Lord, I’m on cloud 9! As Jen stitched me up (using a huge curvy needle like a fish hook! Yikes!), I embraced this little one on my chest. My mom, John, and Sabira glance over me while my heart melted into mush. What a glorious privilege it is to experience one of God’s most intimate gifts: bringing life into the world. And we utterly embrace it with love and gratitude. John took Avery over to the heating station to check on her as I took a few peaceful breaths. One of her first gestures to John was reaching out to his face. Whether intentional or not, this image will forever be cherished in my heart.  Bonding moment between daughter and father. He brought Avery back in my arms, still naked and unwashed (Oh that baby smell!). She was so calm, squeezing my thumb, resting on her mama’s chest. They took her away once more to put tags on her, John and I. John got to hold her once more, now in a diaper and clean of a little meconium. At least, she was brought back to me to be undisturbed from the medical staff and to work on breastfeeding. Holy Champion Latcher Batman!! One of my favorite moments for sure.  Calm and cool mama and Avery As the dust settled, I regained some dignity of my exposed battle wounds and we reclined back into my bed, nestled up in a football hold of love and soon to come colostrum. Never will I forget the strength it took for me on that special day in history, August 12, 9:45am. I am so blessed to brave the challenging territory that is natural childbirth.  So in love John, I’m so thankful for your incredible support throughout this process. It has been an honor to carry our baby into this side of heaven. I love you so much!  First daddy pose! Would I do it again? I know now that I totally can! But I believe I’m meant to dare greatly in other extraordinary experiences in life. Since this is a rite of passage, I wish to give back to others, inform women of their choices and risks and above all, to NOT FEAR under all circumstances, especially birth! Your body is meant, born to do this. We carry the very life substance to grow, push, and nurture a baby to infancy. How crazy is that?! What a joy it is to be a vessel of creation. Sabira, thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting us through this incredible feat. You placed confidence in me with your knowledge and intuitive expectation of all my needs. You are an angel! I couldn’t have done this without you! Lois, thanks for showing up right on time! Not a moment too soon right? I was YOUR VBAC baby and I was glad you were there to experience mine. Your heart shines through all of your girls and I’m proud to call you mama. Tell me again, how did you do this 3 times??? I love that you step in gracefully into your Grammy role and I can tell you are just as excited as I am to give Avery all of the girly experiences that we had as kids! Kayla, thank you so much for documenting one of the most intense and rewarding moments of our lives. You were exactly what you said you’d be, like a fly on the wall. I barely even noticed you, haha! But I’m so grateful I got great photos to remember this memorable event. To the hospital staff, you’re the bomb! From providing bomb ass food to freezing my placenta for encapsulation, you are truly the saints that make miracles happen. Thank you, Jen, for doing what you needed to do in the moments you needed to do them and you respected many of my wishes but above all, you helped deliver my baby girl! Avery Jane, it is an honor to be your chosen mother for this wonderful journey of mother and daughterhood. You picked a really good family to be in! We are so thrilled to have you grace us with your magnificent presence. I cannot wait to show you what this life on Earth has to offer. You are a blessing to us all and by that, we also are all blessings!   38 weeks: Feeling so fat, exhausted, weak, and very pregnant, ready to get going with my new life with baby. I am 2-3 cm dilated for about 3 weeks. My sister Laura finds an old friend from Boulder who is willing to assist in being my doula for labor and the birthing process. Praise the Lord! Baby has dropped into my pelvis. 39 weeks: Baby has dropped even more into my pelvis. At Wednesday's doctor visit, I am told I am 4 cm dilated and small bloody show (she agitates my cervix). Since the 4th of July, I'm having friends and family "walk" me every day. Thanks to Rachael and Rachel for getting me out of the house and moving, outside of my daila yoga practices. Laura suggests to take Evening Primrose and mom pumps me everyday full of pregnancy and red raspberry leaf tea, also provided by Laura. I don't know what I would've done without the tips and encouragement from her, seeing as she is the only one I know that is familiar with birthing babies as of recent (she had her 2nd baby boy Dillon in February via home birth). Friday, July 8: Al and mom decide to take me out for PIE. Rachael joins us as well at Marie Callendars. Chicken Pot Pie and community shared banana cream pie, chocolate cream pie, and chocolate satin pie...yummm. Al's bet on the birth day is July 9th and his story is that his 2 kids (now all grown up) came when pie was ingested the day/night prior... So we go back home and watch Due Date, which seemed very fitting for what would go on for the rest of the night. We finish up the movie around 8, at which time I'm starting to feel contractions and they are inTENSE now! I head upstairs to see if it's really the real deal. More bloody show. Mom is upstairs brushing her teeth and I have changed moods from happy and excited to "this sucks" and "I think this is it" mood. The texts between Rachel and I... R 8:15 "Double rainbow at my house!!" M 8:27 "Contractions r more intense now. Hard to time. Last one was 5 minutes from start to next start. In my back and causing pain in my stomach." R 8:32 "Oh buddy. Double rainbow called it..." M 8:32 "Come over??" R 8:33 "On my way darling." Rachel finds me in my room laying on the floor on my hands and knees, remembering any moves to alleviate the pain. Cat/cow, pelvic tilts and rolls, tailor sitting, childs pose...Wayne calls and gives some sound advice "I'm so proud of you. You can do this!" Rachel times the next contraction and it's closer than we thought: 3-3.5 minutes apart! Rachel says "It's time to go to the hospital." As everyone is getting things together, I'm thinking "Ok this is it. MAN that hurts!!! whewwwwwwoohhhhowwwweeeeee!! This better not take too long..." From this moment on, everything is a big blur of events but eventful nonetheless. I crawl into the back of mom's car and the seat is laid down so I can move any way need be as Rachel lays there with me, rubbing my back and calling the need to know people, Jessica my doula, my doctor, etc. Mom is letting Laura and Lee know what's happening and I get to listen to Laura's voice on the way over. "You are meant to do this. Just breathe. Just focus and breathe." She can hear me breathing deeply and experiencing increasingly intense contractions. After what felt like forever, we finally get to Parker Adventist Hospital. I distinctly remember my mom being somewhat frantic. "Are they going to let us have a wheelchair?" I look at Rachel and we're thinking the same thing...that's my mom for you and I love her for it. They wheel me in and I try to ignore the glaring faces of other patients from the Emergency entrance area. I guess it's not every day you see a woman in REAL labor, except on TV, so I wonder if it's what they really thought it would look like. It must be like seeing a car accident in person when all you've seen is what you see on the news, you know? But movies and TV are sooo diluted in how labor and delivery truly is experienced. It's nothing like you see in the movies. ANYWAY, we get up to the birth center and I'm wheeled into a regular room and apparently I'm not registered...I'm thinking to ask about the "natural birthing room" but cannot muster up a concrete sentence that doesn't involve heavy breathing, a curse word, and "I don't want to do this anymore." So I just go with it and focus on my breathing. One of the nurses asks me to undress into their stylish robes and to give a urine sample if possible. EASIER SAID THAN DONE LADY! I'm not sure why I tried to give them a sample TWICE before giving up since the attempt at squatting was beyond excruciating and in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "I thought this position was supposed to give me relief." From this moment on, it seemed as thought the nurses were against me. Jessica is not there yet so I work on leaning over the bed to stretch out my back. The moment I find some glimpse of relief from a contration, a nurse tells me I have to get in the bed. "Are you kidding me right now? I want to birth a baby and whatever position that will help, I'm going to do." I comply because I don't know what's going on. IV, fetal monitor, and who knows what else is established on my body and I'm examined at 8cm. What??? Then I remember Jessica finally arriving. She became my focal point from then on, which helped immensely. Even through hospital bed bars, she was able to intercede for me and be my advocate for any unnecessary intervention by the hospital. Since I was not pre-registered, during contractions, they continuously explained paperwork and had me sign stuff when one would be over. You could've had me sign my life away, I was so focused on each and every contraction. As they became more and more intense, being reminded of low moans kept me at bay. All my inhibitions flew out the door as people kept prodding at me for information. The ongoing frustration I had was as I found a comfortable position to alleviate any pain, specifically back pain, the nurses would come back in, saying the fetal monitor cannot read the baby's stats. The birthing ball, the birthing bar, squatting, hands and knees, they all helped until nurses forced me to lie back on my back, the worst position that increased the contractions. On TOP of this, the OB/GYN that tended me throughout my pregnancy was not on call and the least desirable doctor from the practice was on call. Yet another let down, but I didn't care. I was going to get this baby out naturally! 9cm....and I'm on an oxygen tank. I kept hearing that people were amazed that I wanted a natural birth, that I was doing incredible, and later I come to find out that the reason why I was having so much back labor was because little Jackson was faced posterior, spine to spine. Anytime it was too intense, "back baCK BACK!!" was what I said. I recall that I kept looking at the clock on the other side of the room, hoping that time would fly faster and that I would see my baby soon. My mom read me some Bible verses and I overheard some calming music and hypnobirthing tracks that distracted my mind from the ever increasing contractions. As the contractions became even more than I had ever imagined, my voice would want to go higher, saying "I can't do this. I don't wanna do this anymore" to Jessica. "Lower your voice, oooooooooo. Jackson is coming so soon. You're there. You're almost there." Almost 10cm..... Around 11:30pm, there was continued failure in getting a continuous reading on the fetal monitor around my swollen belly. All of a sudden, I see 3 times as many people in my room, along with an unknown male doctor talking to my doctor. "She wants to birth this baby naturally." "Well my room is prepped when you're ready. She's not going to make it." This gave me more motivation to take this experience to completion...the arrogance of this doctor was just too much. I'm ready to push. It's go time! I was surprised that at this point, the pain wasn't as intense as during transition (8-10cm). It felt like I was a ticking time bomb so whatever I wanted to do naturally, I had to do it fast before the nurses would make me sit back on my back so everyone helped me try to push on my hands and knees...it wasn't enough. Squatting...still not enough. My doctor said "we still can't get a good reading so we'll have to get a node on his head to get a good reading of his heart rate." "Oooookkkkaaayyyy..." Returning to my back once again, I feel like I'm pushing a camel out of the eye of a needle. It feels like progression but it wasn't enough for the doctors. "We're going to try to use a vacuum. I know you want to do this naturally, but your baby is in distress. Can we try with a vacuum?" *Nodding and crying at the same time* "This is not what I wanted...this wasn't in my birth plan!!!" my mind racing with thoughts and fears: "It'll be okay...he'll be okay. This is for the best." I get a nerve block to get the vacuum in and set on the top of Jackson's head. I can imagine what he was thinking: "wtf? Keep me in here! It's warm and cozy..." I push even harder but am having a hard time feeling contractions anymore, which was frustrating. Everything was happening so fast and I was losing so much focus with all the people in there. What is the need for all of these frickin people??? Didn't I ask in my birth plan for this not to happen? Of course my modesty is out the window but still, sphincter law is in full effect: Who in their right mind can seriously go #1 or #2 in front of THAT many people? At that point, I knew this wasn't going to happen if things didn't change. Nonetheless, I keep pushing whenever possible, even at the sight of my doctor talking to the male doctor, which angered me that if I were to push him out at that point, she would've been distracted and my baby would fall on the floor. They gave me one last push, "for good measure" is what I'm thinking the rude doctor is saying. "Nope, let's get you going." I immediately burst into tears, looking at Rachel with the largest fear in my eyes. "What's going to happen? I'm scared!!!" She looks back at my with her hands on her face, mirroring my thoughts and emotions. Everything will be okay. I hear a distant quiet voice in the back of my head. For I know the plans I have for you. They wheel me into the OR, without Jessica, my mom, or Rachel, and I begin to panic. "Just put me out of my misery. Just put me out. I'm pissed at you guys." A nurse says "We need to move you to this table beside you. Now it's a narrow table so don't move too much." *Are you serious??* Ohhh, this is my worst nightmare...Oh God Oh God, what did I deserve to have this much go wrong?? They're forcing my legs straight and my arms to the side, crucifixion style...Just relax. "You're going to be ok, sweetie" says a male voice giving me gas. As I'm laying there, mourning my birth plan, I'm praying to God for deliverance from this pain and fear. Finally I fall asleep..... When I woke up, my brain was foggy, uncertain as to what just happened. They finally bring in little Jackson, happily alert and more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. As I attempt to nurse him for the first time, all I can think about is how empowering this birthing experience was despite my birth plan flying away from my control. Lesson learned: God is in control. Jackson and I laying skin to skin, I felt an immense love for this new little being so much so that I could have laid there forever, staring at his tiny naked body, so peaceful, such a gift. My mom and Rachel come in to greet me and are so proud of me for laboring naturally all the way up to the end. A nurse comes in to take Jackson for his bath and they bring me back into my room to rest. Wayne and Rachel are there to stay the night with Jackson and I. I am so exhausted but feel an energy within me that anticipates my first night with Jackson. A few hours later, they bring him in, swaddled and sleeping peacefully. When all becomes silent, I start to nurse baby Jackson and hold him close, adoring each and every part of his body. 10 fingers 10 toes, lean long legs, and the softest skin, fresh from the womb. Throughout the night, he had his moments of little cries, melting my vulnerable heart as he opens his eyes for the first time. The brightest blue eyes that could pierce the coldest soul. We spent the next 6 hours of the night into the morning telling each other our stories: his journey from my body to my arms and my walk with enduring pain and immeasruable emotional intensity that is my rite of passage to motherhood. He...is...perfect...    The roadmap of labor
I have created a visual guide to labor progress using the metaphor of a road map. It shows key labor landmarks and appropriate activities and measures for comfort as labor progresses (see Figure 1 above). Parents can use it during labor as a reminder of where they are in the process and what to do. Teachers can use it as a tool for organized discussion of normal labor progress and as a backdrop for discussing laboring women’s emotional reactions, and how partners or doulas may assist. Health professionals can use it to help parents identify where they are in labor, adjust their expectations and try appropriate comfort measures. Normal labor pathway The roadmap portrays three pathways. The main brick road represents unmedicated labor and shows helpful actions, positions, and comforting techniques to use as labor progresses. The twists and turns in the brick road indicate that any normal labor does not progress in a straight line; the large turns between 3-6 centimeters and 8-10 centimeters indicate large emotional adjustments for the laboring woman, and present an opportunity to discuss emotional support and comfort measures for the partner or doula to use. After 10 centimeters, the woman’s renewed energy and confidence are represented by the second wind sign. Along with discussion of emotional support and comfort measures, the teacher can offer perspective and practical advice for partners and doulas, to use both when the woman is coping well and when she feels challenged or distressed. The roadmap provides a clear and effective way to teach about normal labor. It keeps the discussion focused purely on the physiological and psychological processes, without inserting discussions of pros and cons of interventions, complications, or usual policies and hospital practices that alter labor. Once parents have a solid understanding of normal labor, the teacher can explain usual care practices and possible options for monitoring maternal and fetal well being during labor. She can also discuss labor variations or complications and treatments with medical (including pain medications), surgical or technological procedures. With this approach, parents are better equipped to discuss risks, benefits and alternatives, because they can distinguish situations and conditions that are more likely to benefit from the intervention from those in which the intervention is optional, unnecessary, or harmful. Planned and spontaneous rituals The normal labor road suggests measures to use for distraction, comfort, and progress. Distraction is desirable for as long as it helps. The Relax, Breathe, Focus sign reminds parents to use this pre-planned ritual for dealing with intensifying contractions when distraction is no longer possible. Parents need to rehearse these rituals in childbirth class (i.e. slow breathing, tension release, and constructive mental focus) and use them in early labor. They set the stage for the spontaneous rituals that emerge later in labor (as women enter active labor), when they realize they cannot control the contractions or continue their planned ritual, and give up their attempts to do so, though sometimes after a stressful struggle. Spontaneous rituals replace the planned ones. They are not planned in advance – they are almost instinctual – and almost always involve rhythmic activity through the contractions – breathing, moaning, swaying, stroking, rocking, or even letting rhythmic thoughts or phrases repeat like a mantra. The three Rs The spontaneous rituals usually involve the three Rs: relaxation (at least between contractions), rhythm, which is the most important, and ritual, the repetition of the same rhythmic activity for many contractions. In order to give herself over to spontaneous instinctual behavior, the woman needs to feel emotionally safe, uninhibited, accepted unconditionally by partner and staff, and to be mobile in order to find comfort. The motto ‘Rhythm is everything’ means that if a woman has rhythm during contractions, she is coping, even though she may vocalize and find it difficult. The rhythmic ritual keeps her from feeling totally overwhelmed. The goal is to keep her rhythm during contractions in the first stage. Once in second stage, however, rhythm is no longer the key. The woman becomes alert and her spirits are lifted. An involuntary urge to push usually takes over and guides her behavior. The role of the partner in labor The partner helps throughout labor, comforting the mother with food and drink, distraction, massage and pressure, assistance with positioning, and constant companionship. Sometimes, a doula also accompanies them, providing continuing guidance, perspective, encouragement, and expertise with hands-on comfort measures, positions, and other techniques gained from her training and experience. The role of an effective birth partner includes being in the woman’s rhythm – focusing on her and matching the rhythm of her vocalizations, breathing or movements – by swaying, stroking, moving hand or head, murmuring softly in her same rhythm. Then, if she has difficulty keeping her rhythm, and tenses, cries out or struggles – as frequently occurs in active labor or transition – her partner helps her get her rhythm back, by asking her to focus her eyes on their face or hand and follow their rhythmic movements. This is the take-charge routine, and is only used if the woman has lost her rhythm, is fearful, or feels she cannot go on. Partners who know about this are less likely to feel helpless, useless or frightened. Simple directions, given firmly, confidently, and kindly (‘look at me,’ or ‘look at my hand’), rhythmic hand or head movements, and ‘rhythm talk’ with each breath (murmuring, ‘Keep your rhythm, stay with me, that’s the way…‘) are immensely effective in helping the woman carry on through demanding contractions. During the second stage, rhythm is no longer important; now the partner encourages her bearing-down efforts and release of her pelvic floor, and also assists her with positions. The motto “Rhythm is everything” means that if a woman has rhythm during contractions, she is coping, even though she may vocalize and find it difficult. The detour for back pain A second pathway, a rocky, rough road, represents the more difficult ‘back labor’, which may be more painful, longer, or more complicated than the normal labor pathway. Fetal malposition is one possible cause. The measures shown for back labor are twofold: reduce the back pain and alter the effects of gravity and pelvic shape to encourage the fetus’s movement into and through the pelvis. It helps a woman endure a prolonged or painful back labor if she and her partner use appropriate comfort measures, and if they know that dilation may be delayed while the baby’s head molds or rotates to fit through, or that changing gravity and pelvic shape may give the extra room that the baby needs to move into an optimal position. The epidural highway This third pathway represents a dramatically different road – smooth, angular, man- made, more comfortable – but it comes with extensive precautions and numerous procedures, monitors, and medications, which are necessary to keep the epidural safe. The woman adopts a passive role while the staff manage labor progress, and monitors the mother’s and fetus’s well being closely. The excellent pain relief and chance to sleep are the usual rewards. Discussion of how to work with an epidural in order to optimize the outcome is beyond the scope of the paper, but the basic principle is: treat the woman with an epidural as much as possible like a woman who does not have one! This essentially means,‘Keep her cool. Keep her moving. Keep her involved in the work of pushing her baby out. And don’t assume that if she has no pain, she has no distress! Do not leave her alone.’ Conclusion The roadmap of labor provides a useful framework for teachers to explain the psychological and physiological processes of labor, and a variety of activities for comfort and labor progress for women and their partners to use. By focusing on the normal unaltered process, parents learn to separate the norm from the numerous interventions that alter the process, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. The intention is to give them confidence that they can handle normal labor and to participate meaningfully in decision-making when interventions are suggested. BIRTH INTIMACY Image taken 30 minutes before my daughter was born. Descriptions of birth tend to vary among all mothers; anything from tumultuous, scary and crazy... to joyful, challenging and exciting.
Seldom do we describe a birth as sexy, right?! Why don't we see birth as intimate and sexy? Is it the environment? Imagine for a second the most romantic daydream you could ever have... Got it? Ok, keep that image in mind. It's BABY DAY. You're in a hospital room with cords strapped to you, beds that move every which way, and the smell of freshly bleached stained floors... Not the scene we just envisioned from our best romantic dreams, right? One thing we do know: Something special is happening. A baby will be born and there will be an outpouring of love and ecstasy coming soon!!! Too often, birth is portrayed as a scary and dreaded event in a woman's life. However, with the age of social media, I am grateful to see the birth experience demystified through photos and videos. There are many beautiful birth videos and photos of women in their glory, swaying to the beat of their own bodies, breathing baby down and keeping calmly to her affirmations. But let's face it ladies, not many of us feel this way during birth, although we would like to. The unknown aspects of labor can be scary. Very scary! Fear of the unknown is the leading cause of anxiety and stress in labor, and quite frankly, in life! With many fear-based books out there for new moms, it comes as no surprise when fears arise before and during labor. Our society is ridden with fear facts about everything from what is in our water to when the world is going to end. We don't stand a chance listening to those voices that can flood our screens every day. A bit of great news: It is said that it takes 10 positive thoughts to erase 1 negative thought. Imagine what negative aspects of pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum can do to the psyche of an already emotionally charged pregnant woman? What if we replaced those thoughts with positive ones about birth? Would we be as afraid of the process? I personally believe in the power of love and fear to embrace the intimacy of birth. Love and fear play vitally important roles in our life, and for good reason. However, birth is one of those moments to decide love and only love. The most rewarding, easiest and quickest births have been with women who have chosen to invite the role of love to play out in their labor setting. Fear and anxiety have no proper place in labor. Kick them to the curb. They may want to peek their head in every once in a while but you have the power to turn them away, just like you would a light switch. Click! The intimacy met in the laboring room can be unlike any other, if the stage is set properly. Lights dimmed, essential oil diffuser going, calming music, the sounds of oohs and ahhs...wait a minute, this sounds like a romantic evening we envisioned previously! We CAN equate birth to something so sensual because hey! We all know how the baby got there right?! ;) As Ina May Gaskin says, "The energy that gets the baby in, gets the baby out." So if we set the scene for romance and sensuality, how do we prepare our mind, body and heart? Typically, in the realm of natural labor preparation practices, once a couple satisfies the 3 S's (Safety, Support, Security), a positive experience ensues, regardless of the outcome. Or the setting! With having the ability for couples to be themselves in their own rite, parents set the stage for positive change in the birth realm. This is where a doula can come in to help create that setting, in advance, so that mom can feel safe, supported, and secure. The journey to safety, support and security can be a rocky one, but one well worth embarking on. In fact, it would be wise for parents to establish these systems firmly, well before the baby is born. Help from a doula can be highly beneficial. Why? Because when the unexpected happens, there are safety nets. We all need that in life. For finances, we have an emergency fund. For auto accidents, we have insurance policies. In short, with a doula equipped to hold that space for the 3 S's, you have an insurance policy on the livelihood of your family. Then you have a sacred space for a positive experience and engagement for everyone involved in the birthing process, especially mom! This creates much less turmoil physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually!!! When we pull out an insurance policy on our own well-being, we create Possibility. Choices. JOY even! We start from a place of worthiness, peace, and love. We are essentially doing our children a favor by ensuring that we put the gas mask on ourselves first before they even make it out of the womb. For the betterment of ourselves, we owe it to our children to set a standard for love, joy, and peace for ourselves. The joy found in embracing labor is uncanny. Labor is happening for you, not TO you. The intensity of contractions have a purpose, not to harm you. Joy wants to meet you in that space. In choosing love and peace over anxiety and fear, we open doors to joy. With the proper tools in place, it is a completely obtainable reality. My job is to empower you! I want you to know that you are going to ebb and flow through the highs and lows of pregnancy, labor, and beyond, just as waves on a shore. The grace you bestow upon your body, mind, heart, and soul are paramount pieces to success in your journey through motherhood. Don't let fear take a foothold in your life because someone or something told you so. Any of those thoughts are garbage and have no place in your birth plan. So give yourself some grace and birth the way you would if you were to plan a date for a special someone because that special someone is YOU, my darling dearest mama! Dim those lights, light some candles, play some beautiful songs, and clear your head of the gunk. Let your mind and heart open to the date you will have with your baby. And ahhhhh...Let the intimacy begin with you. Your love surpasses all. xoxo It is so tempting to grab at all those BabyCenter Q&A's, What To Expect books, and advice from naysayers, but Really, what is it all accomplishing? A sense of doubt? Conspiracy? Fear? Uncertainty? Let me give you a list of things. Not a list of HOW-TO's but rather a list of encouragement, of things to focus on. At a later date, be prepared to switch up your list, as the test of time allows and calls for. But for now, let's keep it simple and fun.  1.) Focus on dear 'ol Y. O. U.
Address any cobwebs or unfinished business you may have in your life. You may be battling some unforeseen changes in your body and that's ok! Your old life may be flashing before your eyes. Trust that your life is not over but rather just beginning! Seek out a trusted counselor, mentor, life coach (me?), or a friend to walk through any struggles that could hinder you from becoming your best self through this process. This is NOT a good time to: Work on BIG issues. Be gentle on yourself. Your body is changing all over the place. If you have had previous birth experience, it may be a good time to journal through your experience, good or bad, rehash your thoughts around birth and your new expectations this time around. Discover what this might look like for you through Birth Life Coaching. 2.) Visualize This one is fun, yet takes some getting used to if you haven't tried it before. It's like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Make it simple! Close your eyes and think about what you life will be like as you're pregnant. Are you joyful? What does your partner think? How are they supportive of you? Do your friends rally around you or is it time to reshape your tribe to fit your current and future needs? Is your family close to you? What do they do to make this journey more pleasant? Do this for every stage of your journey: pregnancy, birth, newborn, and beyond. There are no rules here. NOT a good time to: Visualize what could go wrong AKA Irrationalize fears. Whenever we go through change, it is completely normal to wrestle through the "what if's". What if I eat deli meat and my baby becomes autistic? What if I get a back injury during an epidural? What if I go crazy before this is over? Try as best you can to keep those thoughts at bay. The more you focus on them, the more they can invade the personal happy space you're trying to create for your baby, who feels what you feel. 3.) Focus on HEALTH This goes without saying that your physical being needs support, mostly by you. Think about, or better yet, visualize what that support group looks like, how it feels, and make a list of things you desire in terms of support to get to your health goals. NOT a good time to: Exercise more. Continue on the workouts your body is used to, whether it be walking or power lifting. As your belly grows, you'll know when to scale it down. 4.) Tap in to your INTUITION You may or may not have tapped into your wonderful beautiful friend call Intuition yet but trust me, this is one tool that will help you throughout your life from now on. More on this later... NOT a good time to: Let your inner critic run wild. Do your best to stay positive! Let your intuition guide you to what you need to do today in order to get out of any funk you find yourself in. 5.) Remove what doesn't SPARK JOY On the heels of Marie Kondo, LET GO OF THINGS THAT DON'T SPARK JOY! While you are still very mobile, although I can't say the same about energy, think about clearing out some space. You are working hard on a lot of new things and your living space can be one of those things. Remember to be gentle. This is not an overhaul on your life. NOT a good time to: Begin a registry just yet. You're cleaning out your space. You've created something new and it also needs time to brew and make manifest. Don't rush your own process but making unnecessary steps towards your #pregnancygoals. 6.) Your emotional health People don't lie about your emotions being a roller coaster during pregnancy. But how you handle it makes all the difference. Rather than spew out why it's not ok for your husband to fold laundry like that (*cue the Tidying Up with Marie Kondo music*), IT IS OK to feel those emotions first. As my friend, Maria Felipe says "You gotta feel it to heal it!" Recognize that ALL the emotions coming up. Because you are transitioning into a new dimension of your life, it is important. This is a new realm of existence that calls for a lot of change. Your emotions will carry you through those no matter how ugly it looks. Let those wide range of Inside Out emotions fly! Journal your experiences and allow your intuition to tell you what those emotions have for you in that moment. Free write what that gentle spirit wants you to hear today. NOT a good time to: Judge yourself for being a basket case. Give yourself some grace, have a good cry, and pick up where you left off after you've filled the dustbin with millions of snot pillows. If you need some more encouragement and direction, feel free to connect with me to find some solutions! 7.) Connect with family and friends I'll bet that your group of friends and family are amazing and so supportive of you having this baby! I wasn't so lucky however. If you are feeling less than stellar about your circle of people in your life, now would be a good time to start fresh. Go to the library, find a mom group, be-friend people at church, seek out a mentor, take a breastfeeding class... Work on these early as they will allow you to establish good relationships in a reasonable amount of time so that when baby arrives, you will feel confident in the tribe you've personally established for yourself and your growing family. NOT a good time to: Throw out the friends that don't apply to your current life situation. If they phase out, what a good learning lesson to explore! We've all been there, my friend. 8.) Start reading a really good pregnancy book This book may look like a week-by-week book that tells about your baby's growth or simply a book that addresses what goes on inside your body. Ask for recommendations from your tribe or jump over to my recommended books list HERE. NOT a good time to: Make a birth plan. There will be plenty of time for that. TRUST, MY DEAREST! 9.) Plan a BABYMOON What joy fills my heart when I see couples going to the beach, Disneyland, or the mountains with that adorable 2nd trimester baby bump! Planning for a baby can take a lot but don't discount your relationship with your partner. They are going through a lot right now too. Acknowledge how far your relationship has come thus far by celebrating the life you currently have with each other. It doesn't have to be glamorous but make it YOURS. NOT a good time to: Move or remodel your home. Changing your space can be a huge overhaul for your already busy body. Plan to get away for a time, like for the babymoon so that when you come home, it is cozy for you to nest in. 10.) List and practice SELF-CARE The latest buzz phrases going around are self-care and self-love. And for good reason! "Find what feels good", says my favorite YouTube yoga guru Adriene Mishler. And practice at least 3 acts of self-love every day. Some ideas are:
There you have it! Cheers to a wonderful 1st trimester journey. What are you planning to focus on during your first 3 months? Hop over to our Instagram to stay connected with us, get more tips, and join other fellow pregnant mamas!  First off, CONGRATULATIONS!~!~! Not only for harboring a new life force inside of you but also for taking the time to understand more about yourself as you journey through this new stage from maiden to mother. Oftentimes when we become pregnant, our mind rattles with so many things to learn and understand about pregnancy, birth, and beyond. I'm here to tell you that there is no right way to approach this experience. However, there are many people that strongly suggest easing into the process, just as you would when meeting your baby for the first time. Be gentle with yourself. There is no time crunch. No one is telling you what to do but YOU, my dear friend. To hear about some ideas for 1st Trimester things to focus on, head on over to my next blog post: 1st Trimester is a GOOD TIME to focus on...  While woman-to-woman maternity support has been around ever since women have been having babies (well, technically, Eve was on her own), doulas are relatively new. In fact, the first US professional organization for doulas (DONA, or Doulas of North America; now called DONA International) only started in 1992. This leaves many women wondering, "If I have a labor support partner and a nurse during labor, do I really need doula?" The answer: Maybe. The point of having a doula is to provide encouragement and support to new moms throughout pregnancy and birth; postpartum doulas even help with breastfeeding, housework, and cooking. Her role is to promote healing and bonding with the new baby — basically, whatever you need! Sounds nice, right? Research seems to think so, too. Studies indicate that when doulas are involved in the labor process, women have fewer C-sections and report greater satisfaction with their birth experiences. Doulas understand labor and birth from both the physiologic and emotional angles, and they know how hospitals work. They're gifted at helping women overcome really challenging contractions and labor transitions. They understand medical language and routine procedures, but they also know how to help mothers work around interventions that don't fall into their birth plans. And when those plans need to change quickly, the really great doulas know how to shift gears and continue providing top-notch support. Sadly, there are also some challenging doulas. A few have strict personal agendas and confrontational approaches. They start arguments with medical staff over minor issues like taking mom's blood pressure. There are even doulas who have told their clients that under no circumstances would they allow them to have an epidural or C-section. Plus, reimbursement from insurance providers is unusual. What happens to women who can't afford doulas? They receive support from their labor nurses, midwife or doctor, their partners and the people they've chosen to provide labor support. For many women, that's all they need and they report feeling well cared for. Side note: There are doulas that are getting started in their career and can offer free services in order to get certified or more experience. Still, more often than not, doulas are a real asset to the birth experience. Here's how to find the perfect one for you: 1.) Check their credentials. While DONA International offers certification programs, certifications aren't required to work as a doula. But a certification shows that your doula has passed a test that demonstrates her knowledge and competency. Before deciding on a doula, ask her where she studied, and if she received a certification. 2.) Ask for references. See whom she has worked with in the past, and actually call them. 3.) Search wisely Visit doulamatch.net to instantly find doulas, along with their availability, education, certifications, and testimonials. Also check out: BirthTube's Doula Directory and the DONA Doula Directory. 4.) Interview potential doulas — in person! You're going to be spending a whole lot of time with this person, so you need to make sure your goals are the same, and that your personalities are compatible. If you don't fall in love with the doula you interview, find one that fits your desires and needs. Have some fun and take the Birth Quiz to get a FREE Labor Cheat Sheet!  I did something today. I went for a walk. It was hard... |
  I'm going to address the elephant in the room...labor is challenging! When you're in it, you wish that life would stop. You wish that you blinked, and in the next moment, you would open your eyes and find yourself lounging on a beach with an umbrella drink. Although that kind of wishing is nice and can distract you from your current situation, it's not going to effective get that baby to be born. So here are 7 things you can watch for to get labor progressing naturally, safely and effectively. 1.) Full bladder Now I know in regular circumstance, if you gotta go, you go, right? In labor, many things are happening in the body that we tend to ignore basic instincts, like peeing. Having a doula or a partner remind you to empty your bladder often is an understated factor. Urinating tells your body that you are making room for baby. There is nothing like a full balloon-like bladder that will get in the way of baby descending into the birth canal. So make many trips to the bathroom. Better yet, stay in there and enjoy all the amenities a bathroom has to offer for laboring! Amenities like:
It's a glorious place to labor my darlings!!! 2.) Medications Normally I don't vouch for labor-inducing medication but at times, they can be helpful and indeed save lives. Pitocin can help increase contractions to assist the uterus in pushing that baby down. However, once you begin medications, your risk of having more induction measures increases drastically. And you are destined to be on bedrest of the remainder of your labor and delivery. So take heed there. 3.) Immobility If you're sitting in a bed, hoping your baby will pop out, chances are you either have had an epidural or you're not in labor (deepest sympathies to my lovely 36-42 Weekers). In any other case, you should be moving around to urge your baby to come down his or her comfy womb space. If you've had an epidural, you can have nurses, your doula, or partner adjust your positioning every 20 minutes so that movement is still present for labor to do its thing. We call this movement in bed the Rotisserie Chicken! If you're in bed, this is IMPORTANT, not only to keep labor from digressing, but also to move the medicine around in your body. If you lay on one side for too long, the medicine will travel to that side of the body. 4.) Ineffective contractions How can a contraction be ineffective you say? O’Driscoll et al believed that primigravida uterine action[ineffective contractions] is ‘‘often insufficient to overcome the soft-tissue resistance in a woman having her first vaginal delivery.’’ The treatment for this is artificial oxytocin drip, or Pitocin, due to what medical practitioners call "Failure to Progress". Typically when I encounter a situation like this, I encourage mom to find ways to release her own oxytocin (see infographic). Oxytocin is influenced by, and influences feelings and behaviour. It is a hormone cocktail that enables mother and baby to form a bond and attachment. Since Pitocin only affects the uterus and does not cross the blood brain barrier, only oxytocin produced in the brain creates these psychological/emotional effects. 5.) Unfavorable presentation or position of baby Nobody knows how your baby will react in labor and delivery. Just as all of our fingerprints are never identical, neither are laboring bodies. Fun fact: even the way a uterus contracts is different from woman to woman! How fascinating! Let me give you the rundown on baby positions. Occiput anterior (OA) is when baby is face-down, spine facing your belly. This is the optimal fetal position. Occiput transverse (OT) is when baby is sideways inside your womb and can be the cause of a slow and more painful labor. Occiput posterior (OP) is when baby is face-down, spine facing your spine, which is the leading cause of back labor. To help prevent pain, decrease pain or to help encourage your baby into a better position for delivery, you can use a variety of positions, including:
In addition to moving the baby, specific comfort measures can include:
6.) Dehydration and lack of nourishment Never would I deny a marathon runner a drink of water midway through their run. Nor would I ever deny a laboring woman water and nourishment. In hospitals, they want to minimize consumption in the case that surgery is needed. It is also to lessen any chance of messes like throwing up. But a popsicle and honey sticks can be just what mama needs to get her through those last few stages of labor. 7.) Exhaustion or stress Labor can be fast and furious or long and arduous. At times when labor hours have been trying, it is best to allow mom to rest if at all possible, keeping her comfortable and relaxed. There is always a time for movement but also for resting, letting the body truly relax into this journey. Stress can play evil tricks on labor. First, it slows down oxytocin because fight or flight mode is turned on. For first-time moms, labor in and of itself can be such a stressful event for the body, mind, and spirit. For tips, see the above #4 section about releasing oxytocin to foster positive psychological/emotional outcomes. Well, there you have it! I hope this was helpful for you! Let me know in the comments what you found insightful, helpful, and exciting. If you have any questions, please email us! As always, keep your love in motion! |
- Initiation of labor, progression and signals of labor
1) Impatience to end the pregnancy due to discomfort, fatigue and eagerness to hold their baby
2) The possibility of a long, discouraging pre-labor phase.
These challenges make parents more accepting of induction or vulnerable to the belief that there is something wrong. Parents need to understand that labor normally begins only when all of the following occur:
• The fetus is ready to thrive outside the uterus (breathing, suckling, maintaining body temperature, and more).
• The placenta has reached the point where it can no longer sustain the pregnancy.
• The uterus is ready to contract, open and expel the baby.
• The mother is ready to nourish and nurture her baby.
If parents understand that fetal maturity is essential in initiating the chain of events leading to labor, they may be more patient with the discomforts of late pregnancy, and less willing or anxious to induce labor without a medical reason.
Natural induction methods are a viable options to assist and allow for the above criteria to be met and for labor to commence. However, they are not meant to coax the baby out but rather to encourage the process along. I will blog about natural induction methods coming up but for now, please see one delicious way by checking out my Labor Cookies Recipe.
The ways to progress to a vaginal birth
Progress before and during labor and birth occurs in many ways, not simply cervical dilation and descent, which is what most people focus on. Labor unfolds gradually, which begin weeks before labor and involve the cervix. The cervix moves forward, ripens, effaces and then dilates. When parents understand that a long pre- or early labor is accomplishing necessary progress – preparing the cervix to dilate – they are less likely to become anxious or discouraged that nothing seems to be happening. The other steps involve the fetus: the fetal head repositions during labor by flexing, rotating, and moulding to fit into the pelvis; and lastly, the fetus descends and is born.
Possible signs of labor
- Nesting urge
- Soft bowel movements
- Abdominal cramping
- Backache that causes restlessness
Pre-labor signs
The most important of these is the first one:
- Continuing ‘non-progressing’ contractions (that is, over time, the pattern remains the same; they do not become longer, stronger or closer together)
- Possible leaking of fluid from the vagina
- Possible ‘show’ – bloody mucus discharge from the vagina
Positive signs of labor
The most important of these is the first one:
- Continuing, progressing contractions, i.e. contractions that become longer, stronger, and closer together (or at least two of those signs). These progressing contractions cause cervical dilation, which is the clinical definition of labor.
- Spontaneous rupture of the membranes (SRM), especially with a gush of fluid. This happens before or at the onset of labor in about 8% of women at term. It most often happens late in labor. SRM is only a positive sign of labor in conjunction with continuing progressing contractions.
Positive Notes
Staying positive amidst pre- and early labor is important in the process of delivering your baby. Women progress in many different ways and your journey is your own pathway to forge for you and your baby. The hard work put into the process is well worth it. Just knowing the signs above can and will help in understanding when it is a good time to bring in your birth team, call your midwife, go to the hospital (or stay at home), and move forward in a positive and healthy manner.
Stayed tuned for more progression through labor and delivery, as well as some natural induction methods!
"We have no idea what we are doing..."
The moment a woman is pregnant, I SO wish she received a special download into her brain of all the things she needs to know going forward from this moment on. Wouldn't that bring such peace and understanding to the situation? Me, oh my!!
My Backstory: In 2010, I was a newly pregnant single woman on the verge of chaos, not knowing what my future would hold. Fear flowed through my entire body for days as I scrambled to read, research, and refine this new state of existence. So much to think about, so much to do!!!
Today: As a woman on the other side of pregnancy and birth, I am deep in the trenches of motherhood. I must be vulnerable with you and admit that on some days, I feel like "my self" has returned! And I can confidently conquer any animal cracker that gets thrown my way. I am Wonder Woman!! ->
But on other days, motherhood can be dreary, dreadful and downright powerless... when all I can do is lay on the couch with my kids and let them watch whatever they want for a few hours until nap and/or bedtime. This mommy'ing thing is TOUGH ladies!
Encouragement: I'm here to tell you that you are DEFINITELY not alone - Your child chose YOU to be their mom. That is saying A LOT considering they could have chosen anybody else in the world...but they wanted you to be their mommy. What a privilege and a blessing...
But let's be honest, LADIES --
We have no idea what we are doing.
Seriously! Us moms are just wingin' it and praying we don't don't cause too much damage to our kids. But take heart, dearest one. We are imperfectly human... In time, our grown-up children will understand that mom's human nature and love is what nurtured them to the best of mom's ability.
If I had a few TIPS to give you dearies, they would be the following:
(because I know ain't nobody got time for a long-winded blog) ---
1.) Use your breath to carry you through each day...hour...minute...second -- Breath is there to hold you, keep you level-headed, and secure. Use it often and deeply! Yoga with Adriene helps me connect to my breath.
2.) Use your intuition. TRUST that it will guide you. Ask your intuition for guidance, new perspective, anything! Like a mama muscle, intuition gets better and stronger with use -- it's your wise inner bestie!
In closing, I wish you beauties the Best and Highest Good and Blessings for you and your precious families.
Lastly: Just like traffic, so it is with raising littles --
There is chaos, impatience, and frustration but one thing remains: We are in this together..
My Backstory: In 2010, I was a newly pregnant single woman on the verge of chaos, not knowing what my future would hold. Fear flowed through my entire body for days as I scrambled to read, research, and refine this new state of existence. So much to think about, so much to do!!!
Today: As a woman on the other side of pregnancy and birth, I am deep in the trenches of motherhood. I must be vulnerable with you and admit that on some days, I feel like "my self" has returned! And I can confidently conquer any animal cracker that gets thrown my way. I am Wonder Woman!! ->
But on other days, motherhood can be dreary, dreadful and downright powerless... when all I can do is lay on the couch with my kids and let them watch whatever they want for a few hours until nap and/or bedtime. This mommy'ing thing is TOUGH ladies!
Encouragement: I'm here to tell you that you are DEFINITELY not alone - Your child chose YOU to be their mom. That is saying A LOT considering they could have chosen anybody else in the world...but they wanted you to be their mommy. What a privilege and a blessing...
But let's be honest, LADIES --
We have no idea what we are doing.
Seriously! Us moms are just wingin' it and praying we don't don't cause too much damage to our kids. But take heart, dearest one. We are imperfectly human... In time, our grown-up children will understand that mom's human nature and love is what nurtured them to the best of mom's ability.
If I had a few TIPS to give you dearies, they would be the following:
(because I know ain't nobody got time for a long-winded blog) ---
1.) Use your breath to carry you through each day...hour...minute...second -- Breath is there to hold you, keep you level-headed, and secure. Use it often and deeply! Yoga with Adriene helps me connect to my breath.
2.) Use your intuition. TRUST that it will guide you. Ask your intuition for guidance, new perspective, anything! Like a mama muscle, intuition gets better and stronger with use -- it's your wise inner bestie!
In closing, I wish you beauties the Best and Highest Good and Blessings for you and your precious families.
Lastly: Just like traffic, so it is with raising littles --
There is chaos, impatience, and frustration but one thing remains: We are in this together..
Part 3: Let's bring this baby home!!
We have been diving into the three R's that all work wonderfully when done in sync with each other to ensure a peaceful childbirth experience.
We began with RELAXATION. Then we felt the RHYTHM. Now let's bring this baby home and discuss the last R:
RITUAL
Creating a ritual for birth is icing on the top of your baby's birthday cake. Ritual helps you sink deeper into Laborland, noticing the big picture rather than all the distractions, sensations and chaos around you. Here are some rituals that are catalysts for any birth.
1) Meditation & Prayer --
Question: What do the brains of a person in meditation and a woman in labor have in common?
Answer: Their brains are both in Theta.
Theta brain waves in the brain are exhibited when a person is in deep relaxation or mental imagery. In this stage, we also dream. This stage is just after Alpha waves, which are when we have a relaxed focus, increased seratonin production, and experience pre-sleep. During labor, it is best to optimize the stages between Alpha and Theta stages of brain waves.
We can do this through meditation or prayer. If you already have some type of similar practice, challenge yourself by calming your mind every day until baby arrives. You can also attempt your practice with distraction, like various noises around you that your mind can jump from one to the next (also called non-focused awareness). Another distraction is the ice cube contraction: hold ice tightly in your hands and time a minute contraction. Try different techniques during your ice contractions and see what helps you not focus on the intensity of the ice in your hand but on other things, like other sensations or breath.
Feel free to contact me for more tips on how to do this fun exercise!
2) Affirmations --
When you have positive affirmations showering you during labor, time seems to pass by and contractions have a purpose. It is easy for the mind to wander, thinking that something is wrong and that contractions are too painful to go on.
Affirmations are just sayings that have meaning to you. You can find them in books or come up with them on your own. I have clients write out affirmations on colorful notecards and stick them all over their laboring space. That way, when you need a word of encouragement, you don't need to ask for them. You can look around your room and find a message meant just for you.
You may check out Hynobirthing for Affirmations. They are sensational!
3) Breath
We live in a world where control is king. As women, we want to control the labor process, so we will read and research until our brains are numb. We create the ideal birth plan, hoping that much of it will happen the way that we want it to.
I want to be real with you ladies. The day your body decides to go into labor is the day you lose all control. Labor is all about surrendering! Surrendering to your body, your baby, and the process it is going to take to deliver a healthy and happy baby, and a new mama!
The one thing we can control in labor is our breath. Focus on the breath and learn some different breathing techniques for the stages of labor. Breath is paramount to maximizing those contractions to urge that baby down. Use what you have, YOUR BREATH, to your advantage.
4) Hire a Doula --
There are many evidence-based reasons for having a labor support person with you during your birthing experience. Doulas have the expertise to assist you with physical comforts, emotional support, and information. A doula provides a wealth of support that you wished you had. With all the up's and down's that labor entails, it is worth having someone in the room with you that has a calm demeanor and a sound mind to help you make informed decisions and make you feel safe during your journey through Laborland.
Final Thoughts --
If what you are seeking is a natural birth, and all you have is today to prepare for labor, I have only one piece of advice:
Ground yourself in love and let all the rest go.
We began with RELAXATION. Then we felt the RHYTHM. Now let's bring this baby home and discuss the last R:
RITUAL
Creating a ritual for birth is icing on the top of your baby's birthday cake. Ritual helps you sink deeper into Laborland, noticing the big picture rather than all the distractions, sensations and chaos around you. Here are some rituals that are catalysts for any birth.
1) Meditation & Prayer --
Question: What do the brains of a person in meditation and a woman in labor have in common?
Answer: Their brains are both in Theta.
Theta brain waves in the brain are exhibited when a person is in deep relaxation or mental imagery. In this stage, we also dream. This stage is just after Alpha waves, which are when we have a relaxed focus, increased seratonin production, and experience pre-sleep. During labor, it is best to optimize the stages between Alpha and Theta stages of brain waves.
We can do this through meditation or prayer. If you already have some type of similar practice, challenge yourself by calming your mind every day until baby arrives. You can also attempt your practice with distraction, like various noises around you that your mind can jump from one to the next (also called non-focused awareness). Another distraction is the ice cube contraction: hold ice tightly in your hands and time a minute contraction. Try different techniques during your ice contractions and see what helps you not focus on the intensity of the ice in your hand but on other things, like other sensations or breath.
Feel free to contact me for more tips on how to do this fun exercise!
2) Affirmations --
When you have positive affirmations showering you during labor, time seems to pass by and contractions have a purpose. It is easy for the mind to wander, thinking that something is wrong and that contractions are too painful to go on.
Affirmations are just sayings that have meaning to you. You can find them in books or come up with them on your own. I have clients write out affirmations on colorful notecards and stick them all over their laboring space. That way, when you need a word of encouragement, you don't need to ask for them. You can look around your room and find a message meant just for you.
You may check out Hynobirthing for Affirmations. They are sensational!
3) Breath
We live in a world where control is king. As women, we want to control the labor process, so we will read and research until our brains are numb. We create the ideal birth plan, hoping that much of it will happen the way that we want it to.
I want to be real with you ladies. The day your body decides to go into labor is the day you lose all control. Labor is all about surrendering! Surrendering to your body, your baby, and the process it is going to take to deliver a healthy and happy baby, and a new mama!
The one thing we can control in labor is our breath. Focus on the breath and learn some different breathing techniques for the stages of labor. Breath is paramount to maximizing those contractions to urge that baby down. Use what you have, YOUR BREATH, to your advantage.
4) Hire a Doula --
There are many evidence-based reasons for having a labor support person with you during your birthing experience. Doulas have the expertise to assist you with physical comforts, emotional support, and information. A doula provides a wealth of support that you wished you had. With all the up's and down's that labor entails, it is worth having someone in the room with you that has a calm demeanor and a sound mind to help you make informed decisions and make you feel safe during your journey through Laborland.
Final Thoughts --
If what you are seeking is a natural birth, and all you have is today to prepare for labor, I have only one piece of advice:
Ground yourself in love and let all the rest go.
Part 2: Feel the Rhythm, Feel the Rhyme!!
Childbirth practices around the world all seem to carry 3 similar traits. Some cultures lean on one of the three R's more strongly than others but in truth, they all work wonderfully when done in sync with each other.
Below are some tips that I have come to find as the most helpful. They all encompass the 3 R's in one way or another:
We began with RELAXATION (click to read the first blog post).
Get ready to "feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme!!"
RHYTHM
1.) Music -- I am a strong believer in the power of music. Music does what words alone cannot do. It speaks to the heart. Find songs that incite joy, peace, harmony, love, and freedom for you. Make a playlist that speaks to you alone. If there is a special song that instill emotions that make you cry, this is especially helpful in those trying times of labor. When you feel like you just can't go on, request that song to push you through to your next labor surge. Crying is SOOOOO good for labor. It helps let go of whatever we are holding onto and it will help baby inside know that it is safe to come out. My song was "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten. I had my baby within the hour of that song being played!
2.) Vocalize -- Ina May Gaskin says "The same energy that gets the baby in gets the baby out." In labor, we want to control the situation. But it's just not possible to control our bodies. The only way to cope is to let it out - vocalize and express what is going on inside. LOW and DEEP sounds encourage baby to descend. Normally, when we experience pain, we make high pitched noises. "Yipe! Ouch! S***!" This increases pain. In turn, singing is found be helpful for some women. Let it all out with ooo's, ahh's, moo's and horse lip sounds. Whatever else comes out WILL get baby moving. From a physiological standpoint, all OPEN orifices of the body make contractions more effective.
3.) Feel the Rhythm -- Creating movement in our bodies during labor is the single most effective way of hastening the birth of a baby. The most common problems with laboring women is that they don't move enough!! The more of a rhythm you create, the easier it is to focus on the hard work you are doing than the intensity you are feeling! So before baby arrives, get a birth/yoga ball and roll on it or lean against it on the floor, slow dance with your partner, walk, squat, lunge, do hip rolls, sway, and cat/cow that baby out. You'll be glad you did! I'm sure music can assist in feeling the groove as well...
Stay tuned for Part 3 very soon where we find out what the last R is!! Are you rrrrrrrrrready???
Part 1: Relaxation
Childbirth practices around the world all seem to carry three similar traits, known as the 3 R's. Some cultures lean on one of the R's more strongly than others but in truth, they all work wonderfully when done in sync with each other.
Below are some tips that I have come to find as the most helpful. They all encompass the 3 R's in one way or another:
Let's start with the first R: RELAXATION
1) Setting the stage -- Relaxation looks different from woman to woman. The key is to envision the most relaxing atmosphere that looks right for you -- and make your birthing room like it!
So let's create the ULTIMATE spa day for your birth experience!!
Here are some suggestions to make your birthing space a personalized spa:
a) Essential Oils - Lavender in an oil diffuser (add Wild Orange for an uplifting scent)
b) Dim Lighting and/or LED candles
c) Music - Calming like a spa or motivating like a workout. Whatever sets the mood for each stage of labor!
d) Comfy clothes - You really don't HAVE to wear those ugly gowns at the hospital. Your own cozy robe can help you feel at ease in a hospital or birthing center room.
e) Things that feel like home - Blankets, pillows, slippers, birth art, music, significant trinket, etc. Bring WHATEVER makes you feel most at home. This is YOUR space so make it your OWN. You'll be glad you did!
2) Touch -- A day at the spa wouldn't be complete without a massage now would it?!
You deserve some TLC during labor. Make sure your partner knows what you like and don't like beforehand. Practice techniques and positions that feel the most comforting to you. Soft touch that induces goosebumps increases seratonin and oxytocin, the happy hormones that keep labor progressing. Alternatively, firm pressure can ease those achy spots and feel grounding. Foot massages and acupressure are relationship savers!! Email me for a special handout for your significant other to do on you throughout your pregnancy and labor! Lastly, counter-pressure can ease back labor when nothing else can. It is the #1 mainstay support amongst laboring women.
3) Water -- What spa doesn't have a jet tub option?!
Also referred to ask the "Aquadural"-- it works wonders. Water has a calming effect on laboring mothers. There is just something about water. I have never heard any complaints about water in labor, whether it be by tub or shower. A water birth can have amazing results for minimizing tearing and having a very calm baby emerge.
4) Chiropractic -- Now the birthing team is complete!
A natural modality in healthcare, chiropractic care has been proven to short labor and assist baby in getting into an optimal occipital fetal position for birthing (occiput: head down facing mom's spine). Make sure your chiropractor practices the Webster technique in case of a breech or posterior positioned baby. They will know how to safely and gently turn the baby into a better position in the last weeks of pregnancy.
Speaking of baby's optimal fetal position, practice popular poses like hands and knees, yoga ball bouncing and moving those hips around.
Lastly, PLEASE don't rest in a reclining sofa or chair. The year of the La-z-Boy recliner was a momentous year for C-Section rates and posterior positioned babies.
Read more on posterior babies here: https://spinningbabies.com/learn-more/baby-positions/posterior/
There you have it! RELAXATION...Ahhhhh...Now go rest up and anticipate Part 2 to come very soon -- where we talk about RHYTHM.
Blessings to you all beautiful people!
Below are some tips that I have come to find as the most helpful. They all encompass the 3 R's in one way or another:
Let's start with the first R: RELAXATION
1) Setting the stage -- Relaxation looks different from woman to woman. The key is to envision the most relaxing atmosphere that looks right for you -- and make your birthing room like it!
So let's create the ULTIMATE spa day for your birth experience!!
Here are some suggestions to make your birthing space a personalized spa:
a) Essential Oils - Lavender in an oil diffuser (add Wild Orange for an uplifting scent)
b) Dim Lighting and/or LED candles
c) Music - Calming like a spa or motivating like a workout. Whatever sets the mood for each stage of labor!
d) Comfy clothes - You really don't HAVE to wear those ugly gowns at the hospital. Your own cozy robe can help you feel at ease in a hospital or birthing center room.
e) Things that feel like home - Blankets, pillows, slippers, birth art, music, significant trinket, etc. Bring WHATEVER makes you feel most at home. This is YOUR space so make it your OWN. You'll be glad you did!
2) Touch -- A day at the spa wouldn't be complete without a massage now would it?!
You deserve some TLC during labor. Make sure your partner knows what you like and don't like beforehand. Practice techniques and positions that feel the most comforting to you. Soft touch that induces goosebumps increases seratonin and oxytocin, the happy hormones that keep labor progressing. Alternatively, firm pressure can ease those achy spots and feel grounding. Foot massages and acupressure are relationship savers!! Email me for a special handout for your significant other to do on you throughout your pregnancy and labor! Lastly, counter-pressure can ease back labor when nothing else can. It is the #1 mainstay support amongst laboring women.
3) Water -- What spa doesn't have a jet tub option?!
Also referred to ask the "Aquadural"-- it works wonders. Water has a calming effect on laboring mothers. There is just something about water. I have never heard any complaints about water in labor, whether it be by tub or shower. A water birth can have amazing results for minimizing tearing and having a very calm baby emerge.
4) Chiropractic -- Now the birthing team is complete!
A natural modality in healthcare, chiropractic care has been proven to short labor and assist baby in getting into an optimal occipital fetal position for birthing (occiput: head down facing mom's spine). Make sure your chiropractor practices the Webster technique in case of a breech or posterior positioned baby. They will know how to safely and gently turn the baby into a better position in the last weeks of pregnancy.
Speaking of baby's optimal fetal position, practice popular poses like hands and knees, yoga ball bouncing and moving those hips around.
Lastly, PLEASE don't rest in a reclining sofa or chair. The year of the La-z-Boy recliner was a momentous year for C-Section rates and posterior positioned babies.
Read more on posterior babies here: https://spinningbabies.com/learn-more/baby-positions/posterior/
There you have it! RELAXATION...Ahhhhh...Now go rest up and anticipate Part 2 to come very soon -- where we talk about RHYTHM.
Blessings to you all beautiful people!
We all know that childbirth can be a lot of things. Women experience it in a variety of ways. Ideally, we would all love to embrace the journey and come out on the other end triumphant and empowered by the thrill we just experienced. But just HOW does one power through the intensity of labor, with the grace of a gazelle and the strength of a lion??
Here are 7 tips to help you discover ways of surrendering to the tidal waves of labor and birth.
1.) Address anxiety
Everyone knows that anxiety can render someone in an emotionally catatonic state. During pregnancy, it can dramatically escalate. So find ways to understand where your anxiety derives and how to keep it at bay, even if it's just for the time being until you have a baby. There are many great resources out there for you to explore: counseling, support groups, Byron Katie YouTube talks, meditation, visualization, etc. Remember, anxiety is fear about the future and depression is fear about the past. The happy medium is right in the present moment. That's where you will find your answers within, in stillness.
2.) Root into affirmations and truth
Hypnobirthing is a common birthing method that includes birth affirmations. Customize them to make them yours. Write them on note cards and recite them every day until the big day. And then you can tape them around your laboring room for inspiration when you need it most. This will enhance the truth you find and know inside. Rooting into something positive and encouraging can be just what your mind, heart, and body needs to come out of labor and birth in a joyous way.
3.) Address fear
Oftentimes fear plays a big part in childbirth. What we must understand is that even though fear will never go away, we do have a choice of how much of it will play out in our lives. It will always be a battle to our dying day of choosing love or fear.
Have you ever had a conversation with fear? I do this exercise with clients who have a lot of anxiety. I will ask them to write a letter to fear and it helps in those stressful times. A letter may go something like this:
Dear fear,
I know that we have had a long relationship with each other. Thank you for being there to keep me safe at times. I have appreciated your comments, whether they were true or not, and you have served a purpose in my life. However, during this special time in my life, you don't get to run the show. You may stay outside of my space for the time being and look from afar but you are NOT allowed to be part of this labor and birth. This is a joyous part of my life and I am looking forward to all of the love and surrendering I will be doing. You will not be needed at this time.
4.) Examine thoughts
Thoughts play tricky mind games on us. Fear lets us think many crazy things. Believe it or not, but those thoughts are NOT YOU. You are not your thoughts! We create suffering when we attach to our thoughts as if they were truth. But you get to decide what is truth because you have a beautiful choice with every thought.
When thoughts of failure come in, know that this is coming from a part of you that wants to sabotage your efforts. Think of them like voices from a bad little angel on your shoulder. Tell him "thank you for your comment", flick him off and start listening to the "good angel". Call her the Holy Spirit, intuition, your conscience, whatever she is to you. Any thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure of heart, and trustworthy are the ones to follow. TRUST that they will lead you where you need to go in labor.
This, my dearest, is mindfulness. And remember, practice makes perfect.
The voice you listen to most will win!!
5.) Address intimacy/vulnerability
Let's face it, birth is probably the most vulnerable time you will ever have in your life. Your body and heart are displayed out there for all to see. If you struggle with intimacy and vulnerability, as most of us do, I urge you to check out Brene Brown on YouTube or through her books. They contain an oasis of knowledge and truth for you to discover. I would love to expound upon vulnerability in a later blog because it deserves its own space. It is a wellspring to healing and extraordinary breakthroughs!
6.) Root into what creates peace
Prepare for birth by creating a spa-like atmosphere that works for you. What would you want on a relaxing spa day? Foot massage? Soft smells? Calm music? A beautiful scenery? The goal of a childbirth laced in letting go will consist of all of these and more. Seek out ways to make your ideal spa day possible for your baby's birth day. Your baby will thank you (eventually)!!
7.) Repear steps 1-6 until STILL
Having peace about your journey into motherhood is quite a feat in and of itself. Nobody is perfect and many times we will never fully get the experience we desire. But I love what Bobby Unser said, "Success is where preparation and opportunity meet."
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about this blog post!! Shoot me a comment and let's start a conversation!!
Here are 7 tips to help you discover ways of surrendering to the tidal waves of labor and birth.
1.) Address anxiety
Everyone knows that anxiety can render someone in an emotionally catatonic state. During pregnancy, it can dramatically escalate. So find ways to understand where your anxiety derives and how to keep it at bay, even if it's just for the time being until you have a baby. There are many great resources out there for you to explore: counseling, support groups, Byron Katie YouTube talks, meditation, visualization, etc. Remember, anxiety is fear about the future and depression is fear about the past. The happy medium is right in the present moment. That's where you will find your answers within, in stillness.
2.) Root into affirmations and truth
Hypnobirthing is a common birthing method that includes birth affirmations. Customize them to make them yours. Write them on note cards and recite them every day until the big day. And then you can tape them around your laboring room for inspiration when you need it most. This will enhance the truth you find and know inside. Rooting into something positive and encouraging can be just what your mind, heart, and body needs to come out of labor and birth in a joyous way.
3.) Address fear
Oftentimes fear plays a big part in childbirth. What we must understand is that even though fear will never go away, we do have a choice of how much of it will play out in our lives. It will always be a battle to our dying day of choosing love or fear.
Have you ever had a conversation with fear? I do this exercise with clients who have a lot of anxiety. I will ask them to write a letter to fear and it helps in those stressful times. A letter may go something like this:
Dear fear,
I know that we have had a long relationship with each other. Thank you for being there to keep me safe at times. I have appreciated your comments, whether they were true or not, and you have served a purpose in my life. However, during this special time in my life, you don't get to run the show. You may stay outside of my space for the time being and look from afar but you are NOT allowed to be part of this labor and birth. This is a joyous part of my life and I am looking forward to all of the love and surrendering I will be doing. You will not be needed at this time.
4.) Examine thoughts
Thoughts play tricky mind games on us. Fear lets us think many crazy things. Believe it or not, but those thoughts are NOT YOU. You are not your thoughts! We create suffering when we attach to our thoughts as if they were truth. But you get to decide what is truth because you have a beautiful choice with every thought.
When thoughts of failure come in, know that this is coming from a part of you that wants to sabotage your efforts. Think of them like voices from a bad little angel on your shoulder. Tell him "thank you for your comment", flick him off and start listening to the "good angel". Call her the Holy Spirit, intuition, your conscience, whatever she is to you. Any thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure of heart, and trustworthy are the ones to follow. TRUST that they will lead you where you need to go in labor.
This, my dearest, is mindfulness. And remember, practice makes perfect.
The voice you listen to most will win!!
5.) Address intimacy/vulnerability
Let's face it, birth is probably the most vulnerable time you will ever have in your life. Your body and heart are displayed out there for all to see. If you struggle with intimacy and vulnerability, as most of us do, I urge you to check out Brene Brown on YouTube or through her books. They contain an oasis of knowledge and truth for you to discover. I would love to expound upon vulnerability in a later blog because it deserves its own space. It is a wellspring to healing and extraordinary breakthroughs!
6.) Root into what creates peace
Prepare for birth by creating a spa-like atmosphere that works for you. What would you want on a relaxing spa day? Foot massage? Soft smells? Calm music? A beautiful scenery? The goal of a childbirth laced in letting go will consist of all of these and more. Seek out ways to make your ideal spa day possible for your baby's birth day. Your baby will thank you (eventually)!!
7.) Repear steps 1-6 until STILL
Having peace about your journey into motherhood is quite a feat in and of itself. Nobody is perfect and many times we will never fully get the experience we desire. But I love what Bobby Unser said, "Success is where preparation and opportunity meet."
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about this blog post!! Shoot me a comment and let's start a conversation!!
Throughout pregnancy, women experience many different changes, aches, and discomforts. A most common symptom is tired feet. A lot of pressure is put on the legs and feet as baby gets heavier. Not only does the baby attribute to more weight gain but so does the maternal physiology and metabolism: water, amniotic fluid and blood accretion, uterine and placental growth, and breast and fat mass. This is enough to convince anyone that a woman's feet are substantially underrated and undernourished.
The feet are the foundations of the body. They have reflex points for every organ. Modalities like reflexology can stimulate and balance the body. In the case of pregnancy, the body is going through a lot of changes so a foot massage can be highly beneficial in staying grounded and balanced throughout the process of growing a baby.
Benefits include: Increased blood flow, energy, and rejuvenation, reduced swelling, released tension and an overall happier mama!
The following is a SAFE foot massage that can be used all throughout pregnancy and for labor. It is good practice for the partner to have a supporting role in labor. And for all you single mamas out there, you can do this to yourself sitting in a cross-legged position.
**One caution: there is an acupressure point between the inner *ankle bone and the Achilles tendon, which, when stimulated, may produce labor contractions. This should only be stimulated when a pregnant woman is in labor.**
You may use essential oils with a carrier oil like coconut oil if that is preferred. Be sure to mix the oils together on your hands before massaging the foot. Safe essential oils for pregnant women are: Lavender, Lemon, Orange, Peppermint, Ylang Ylang, Sandalwood, Ginger, Geranium, and Bergamot.
Foot Massage for Labor
First, position the foot so that it is supported for the woman's relaxation and for you to work comfortably.
1) Using the palm of both hands, use firm strokes to massage from the toes to the feet, all the way up to the calf, and lighter strokes to massage back down the calf to the feet and toes. Repeat at least 3x up and down.
2) Gently squeeze (not twist) the entire foot with both hands like you're squeezing water out of a sponge at least 5x. Count to 5 between each squeeze for blood flow to return. Just like a sponge when you squeeze out the water, you wait for the water to soak back into the sponge.
3) With your fingers on top of the foot, use your thumb to press into the spot just under the ball of the foot. Hold for about 10 seconds and let it go. Repeat this about 5x in the same way as the sponge technique.
4) Use your thumbs to make small circles on the bottom of the foot.
5) Use your knuckles to massage the instep/arch of the foot.
6) Use your fingertips to make small circles around the ankle bone* and top of the foot.
7) Use your fingertips or thumbs to stroke from the top of the ankle down between each toe.
8) Gently pull or wiggle each toe.
9) Use your thumb and side of your index finger to press down gently on the top of each toe and release, like you would when you click open a retractable pen.
10) Squeeze the top of the foot with both hands at least 3x.
11) Squeeze the bottom of the foot with both hands at least 3x.
12) Make a Hand-Foot sandwich: With your fingers pointing towards the ankle, use both hands to firmly "sandwich" the foot. Hold firmly to a count of five, then lighten the pressure and pull hands away slowly. Repeat at least 3x.
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Ladies and Gents, let me know your thoughts and how I can help!
Did you try it?
Ladies, did you love it?
Partners, was your mama happy with your foot work? What can you do to make it more enjoyable?
Seriously mamas, they taste like CHRISTMAS
Ok gals, labor cookies...do they really work??
Well, I can attest to how well they work. And to how delish they are! I made these with my second child at 39 weeks. And I'm going to be blatantly honest here...
I ate 13 cookies
YES
13
in one sitting.
Because when am I ever going to have the chance to eat that many cookies
EVER AGAIN in my life?!
I ate those scrumptious labor cookies and I ate them well. And get this, THEY WORKED!!
About 5 hours later, labor began...and 12 hours after that, we had a beautiful baby girl, who probably had molasses in her poop...no wait, that was meconium. Too much??
A side of caution: they may just cause indigestion...
However, they're
FLIPPIN'
cookies!!
What pregnant mama would say no to the request to eat a dozen labor cookies?
It couldn’t hurt to try, right?
They taste like Christmas!
Are you desperate to go into labor that you will try something a little crazy and make these cookies?
Are you going to give these cookies a try? Maybe ask your partner or mom to make them! Now go get those ingredients! I'll be here waiting...
I would love to hear your thoughts on how they tasted for you!
In the meantime, snag a FREE Labor Cheat Sheet at the bottom of this page.
Be well-prepared for the day that baby arrives.
And if you try these cookies, baby day may be closer than you think!!
Well, I can attest to how well they work. And to how delish they are! I made these with my second child at 39 weeks. And I'm going to be blatantly honest here...
I ate 13 cookies
YES
13
in one sitting.
Because when am I ever going to have the chance to eat that many cookies
EVER AGAIN in my life?!
I ate those scrumptious labor cookies and I ate them well. And get this, THEY WORKED!!
About 5 hours later, labor began...and 12 hours after that, we had a beautiful baby girl, who probably had molasses in her poop...no wait, that was meconium. Too much??
A side of caution: they may just cause indigestion...
However, they're
FLIPPIN'
cookies!!
What pregnant mama would say no to the request to eat a dozen labor cookies?
It couldn’t hurt to try, right?
They taste like Christmas!
Are you desperate to go into labor that you will try something a little crazy and make these cookies?
Are you going to give these cookies a try? Maybe ask your partner or mom to make them! Now go get those ingredients! I'll be here waiting...
I would love to hear your thoughts on how they tasted for you!
In the meantime, snag a FREE Labor Cheat Sheet at the bottom of this page.
Be well-prepared for the day that baby arrives.
And if you try these cookies, baby day may be closer than you think!!
2 1/2 c. flour
1 1/2 t. baking soda
3/4 t. cinnamon
1 t. ground ginger
1/2 t. ground cloves
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. cayenne pepper
8 T. butter
1/2 c. sugar
1 c. brown sugar
1/3 c. molasses
1/4 c. egg whites
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine flour, baking soda and spices and set aside. Cream the butter and sugars together. Add the molasses to the creamed butter, then add the egg whites until combined. Add the dry ingredients slowly.
Once incorporated, roll dough into 1 inch balls and place onto baking tray. Bake 8-10 minutes.
Once cool, eat as many as you can possibly stomach, lay down for a nap and wait for labor to begin!
While you're waiting, snag a FREE Labor Cheat Sheet
for you and your partner to know what to do during labor!
Here's to keeping your LOVE IN MOTION!
Author's Philosophy
I am a doula. I love labor, I love birth! But most of all, I love witnessing the beautiful transformation of women becoming mothers. My job is to facilitate that transition easily and with JOY!!
My greatest goal is to ensure that you and your family feel safe and secure with me by your side, ushering you into a brand new heroic journey that is motherhood. It is my highest honor to serve women in one of the most splendid moments of their lives!
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