Accepting birth clients for 2025
Bringing a child into the world is one of the most transformative experiences a person can have. While much of the conversation around birth focuses on the physical aspect, the psychological effects can be just as significant. Different birth methods, vaginal birth, C-section, or assisted delivery, can influence not only physical recovery but also a mother’s emotional well-being. Let’s explore the psychological impact of different birth methods. These expectations can shape the experience and why support during and after birth is crucial. 1.) Vaginal BirthVaginal birth is often seen as the “natural” way to give birth. It can bring with it a sense of empowerment. Many women feel a deep sense of accomplishment after going through labor, especially if they can deliver without interventions. Bringing their baby into the world often comes with an emotional high. This can boost self-esteem and create a strong connection to their child. The Darker Side of Natural Birth However, not all vaginal births are straightforward or empowering. For some, it can be traumatic, particularly if complications arise or if expectations for a “perfect” birth aren’t met. Birth trauma, including feelings of helplessness or loss of control during labor, can leave lasting emotional scars. Women who experience unplanned interventions, such as the use of forceps or vacuum extraction, might feel like their experience didn’t align with their wishes. This leads to feelings of disappointment or failure. Additionally, the pain and intensity of vaginal birth can trigger anxiety and fear in some women. This is especially the case with those who had difficult or prolonged labor. The memories of birth might replay in their minds for months or years, contributing to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in some cases. For those who have suffered birth trauma, it’s crucial to seek emotional support through therapy or peer groups. Processing those feelings is key to ensuring they don’t interfere with bonding and postpartum mental health. 2.) Cesarean BirthA Cesarean birth, or C-section, whether planned or done as an emergency, comes with its own set of psychological effects. Women who have scheduled C-sections often feel relief, as they know what to expect and can avoid the unpredictability of labor. The ability to plan can help reduce pre-birth anxiety and allow for mental preparation. Emergency C-Sections and Emotional Fallout When a C-section is unplanned, however, the emotional experience can be very different. The sudden shift in birth plans, especially when due to medical necessity, can leave women feeling shocked or disappointed. Many women feel a sense of loss over not having the vaginal birth they were hoping for. This can lead to feelings of disconnection from the birth process, as it can feel like something that happened to them rather than with them. The physical recovery from a C-section can also impact mental health. The longer recovery time and pain can contribute to frustration, especially if the mother feels she can’t care for her baby the way she wants to in those early days. Some women may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or guilt because of their slower recovery. 3.) Assisted BirthAssisted births, where forceps or a vacuum help deliver the baby, can evoke various emotions. While these tools are often necessary for the safety of both mother and child, the process can be overwhelming. When there's the need for interventions, it may create a feeling of alarm, particularly if the birth isn’t going as planned. For some, the intervention can feel invasive or disempowering, leading to disappointment if they had hoped for a different birth experience. On the other hand, there is often a sense of relief and gratitude when these interventions are successful in delivering a healthy baby. However, mixed emotions are common, and some mothers find it difficult to fully process the experience without full support. Postpartum Psychological Challenges and RecoveryRegardless of the method of birth, the postpartum period is a time of significant emotional adjustment. Hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the demands of a newborn can all contribute to mood swings and stress. Women who experience trauma or difficulty during their birth are at a higher risk of developing postpartum depression (PPD) or anxiety. Furthermore, postpartum mental health challenges, influenced by the birth method, can sometimes lead to substance abuse as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions. Statistics show that around 25.6% of postpartum women report substance use, with about 5.9% engaging in polysubstance use. These rates increase significantly among women with depressive symptoms, anxiety, or postpartum depression (PPD). Therefore, it’s crucial to acknowledge the emotional challenges after birth and seek support when needed. Understanding its connection with addiction is necessary for providing comprehensive support and effective treatment for new mothers. Therapy, support groups, or even having someone to talk to can make a big difference. Birth is a monumental event, and mothers need to process their experiences healthily to ensure they can thrive in their new role. The Influence of Birth ExpectationsMuch of the psychological impact of different birth methods depends on a woman’s expectations going into labor. Birth plans can be helpful tools for making preferences clear, but they can also set up certain unmet expectations that lead to disappointment. Flexibility is important. Mothers who go into the process with an open mind and an understanding that things may not go as planned often report fewer feelings of regret or failure. Another critical factor is the emotional and physical support a mother receives throughout the birth process. Women who feel supported by their medical team, partners, or doulas generally have more positive emotional outcomes. Being heard and respected in the decision-making process can make a significant difference in how a woman feels about her birth experience, regardless of how things unfold. ConclusionThere is no one-size-fits-all birth experience. The psychological impact of different birth methods varies greatly from person to person, and each birth method brings its own challenges and rewards. No matter how a mother gives birth, it’s important to offer her support and space to process her experience, both physically and emotionally. As we continue to understand the mental and emotional side of childbirth, we can ensure that mothers receive the support they need to thrive in their postpartum journeys.
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![]() I'm not going to lie. I totally stole this from another website (sorry Martha Stewart) because I just realized something...[drumroll please]... I just realized that WEDDING PLANNERS are totally the same AS DOULAS in the services they provide! Here is my shameless link, please don't sue me: 9 Signs A Wedding Planner Is Right For You Wedding planners spend countless hours with you preparing for the biggest day of your life, right? So then, why would we not spend as much time preparing and putting together a team of experts for our second biggest day of our lives: Our baby's birth day?!? This is just so mind boggling. I am completely guilty. I spent a lot of time and energy putting together the perfect wedding in just three short months. I even had a wedding coordinator who helped tremendously! On the other side of the wedding, I was amazed that despite all of the preparations I had put together, I failed to recognize that our relationship probably could have used some pre-marital counseling. After all, if we're going to spend the rest of our lives with that special someone, shouldn't we have some guidance as to how to do exactly that? In conjunction, birth is SO INCREDIBLY SIMILAR to a wedding. It's just one big day (well for some births even longer). Then it's over and time to pick up the pieces and move on with our new life. And both moments CHANGE EVERYTHING. From how to sleep to how you eat. From how you communicate to how you approach your finances. It's all the same in that it changes! During my second pregnancy, I knew that I needed support getting past my fear of another c-section. Luckily, I found the right doulas to help me bridge the gap between my fears and reality. This is what inspired me to do birth work, birth coaching in particular. What joy and peace came out of that experience. If you decide to have a doula, this article is a good way to decipher what you want in a doula. And it's all strikingly in parallel to a wedding planner. Cool huh? That being said, let's go over 8 signs that if you are thinking about hiring a doula, these are the attributes to look for! 8 WAYS A WEDDING PLANNER IS JUST LIKE A DOULA 1.) YOU ENJOY SPENDING TIME TOGETHER. "Countless hours will be spent discussing sensitive details such as close family, personal funds, and other intimate topics. Make sure this is someone you are comfortable with and trust. A good rule of thumb is to hire someone you would be friends with, even after your event is over." Is this not somebody you would choose not only for your wedding but for birth as well? 2.) YOUR PLANNER IS OPEN TO YOUR IDEAS AND VENDOR SUGGESTIONS. "Most planners have preferred vendors, but they should be willing to hear your suggestions—it is your wedding after all!" Doulas have preferred local resources for you. I spend a lot of time networking with other birth professionals to ensure that you are getting the right people on your team, before, during and after birth. This is so important to establish a good community of support during all stages of becoming a parent. Also, I am completely open to your ideas of how you want your birth to unfold. And who am I to speak badly of any people on your team? 3.) A GOOD PLANNER WILL BE HONEST AND OPEN FROM THE BEGINNING IN REGARDS TO BUDGET. "Even if they aren't saying what you want to hear. I truly believe in speaking numbers from the get-go and not sugar-coating the real cost." I discuss my costs during our initial consultation. No surprises or spooks. Straight up! 4.) YOUR PLANNER IS ORGANIZED. "The best planners keep records of details from your initial meetings and continue to bring up these details throughout the process. Your planner schedules and keeps everything organized for you and sends reminders before appointments!" I cannot speak for all doulas, however, I have a folder for every client I currently keep, with notes, ideas, and agendas of what we will talk about during our next meeting. I bring as many resources with me so that if we have the opportunity, I have them with me. Not to mention I always bring my rebozo, just in case we want to try some funky out-of-the-box positions at any given moment! 5.) THE PLANNER YOU CHOSE SHOULD BE ASSERTIVE, PERIOD. "You want someone who can represent you in a knowledgeable way and never get pushed around." Birth bullying is a real thing for patients. A doula assists by putting the power back into the mother's hand in very strategic ways that respect both you and the practitioner. She enables you to speak up for yourself when situations arise that don't align with your birth plan. 6.) YOUR PLANNER SHOULD BE CALM UNDER PRESSURE. "If your planner appears stressed out (ever), that is a problem. You (and your guests) will feed off stress, and that is not what we are going for!" Never should your doula seem afraid or stressed out by your birth experience. If she is, she may be a new doula, of which I hope you were aware of, and she is gathering experience. You desire a positive birth experience and if your doula is not assisting in providing the space to do that, there could be trouble in River City. 7.) ALTHOUGH YOUR PLANNER MAY SEEM LIKE YOUR NEW BFF, HE/SHE MAINTAINS A PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE THROUGHOUT THE PLANNING. "Once the wedding is over, you can start planning happy hour dates." Doulas must maintain their code of ethics and with that comes professionalism that is inherent in your prenatal visits and during your birth. You want to feel comfortable enough with her because she will be a part of a very intimate moment. So much so that they are BFF material but not so much that you would call them during the night about a fight you once had with your spouse. 8.) YOU KNOW YOUR PLANNER IS THE CORRECT FIT IF YOU ARE RELAXED AND ENJOY THE PROCESS. "You don't want wedding planning to feel like a stressful whirlwind. Enjoy each meeting. If your planner is doing his or her job, this will be a piece of cake." As a doula, I am not doing my job if you don't leave our visits feeling more empowered, at ease, and excited for baby day! I found it utterly hilarious how similar wedding planners are to doulas. It is even more shocking that we don't value doulas as strongly as wedding planners. However, the tides are shifting! Doulas everywhere are spreading the good news about how we can greatly shift the impact on births worldwide! Help us spread the news by sharing this article, share with a friend what a doula is/does. Maybe hire one for your upcoming birth! We are caring people who love to make an impact on the world around us. For us, it starts with birth and we support you every step of the way! Sign up below to receive a FREE labor cheat sheet to get you through your next birth! Part 3: Let's bring this baby home!!We have been diving into the three R's that all work wonderfully when done in sync with each other to ensure a peaceful childbirth experience.
We began with RELAXATION. Then we felt the RHYTHM. Now let's bring this baby home and discuss the last R: RITUAL Creating a ritual for birth is icing on the top of your baby's birthday cake. Ritual helps you sink deeper into Laborland, noticing the big picture rather than all the distractions, sensations and chaos around you. Here are some rituals that are catalysts for any birth. 1) Meditation & Prayer -- Question: What do the brains of a person in meditation and a woman in labor have in common? Answer: Their brains are both in Theta. Theta brain waves in the brain are exhibited when a person is in deep relaxation or mental imagery. In this stage, we also dream. This stage is just after Alpha waves, which are when we have a relaxed focus, increased seratonin production, and experience pre-sleep. During labor, it is best to optimize the stages between Alpha and Theta stages of brain waves. We can do this through meditation or prayer. If you already have some type of similar practice, challenge yourself by calming your mind every day until baby arrives. You can also attempt your practice with distraction, like various noises around you that your mind can jump from one to the next (also called non-focused awareness). Another distraction is the ice cube contraction: hold ice tightly in your hands and time a minute contraction. Try different techniques during your ice contractions and see what helps you not focus on the intensity of the ice in your hand but on other things, like other sensations or breath. Feel free to contact me for more tips on how to do this fun exercise! 2) Affirmations -- When you have positive affirmations showering you during labor, time seems to pass by and contractions have a purpose. It is easy for the mind to wander, thinking that something is wrong and that contractions are too painful to go on. Affirmations are just sayings that have meaning to you. You can find them in books or come up with them on your own. I have clients write out affirmations on colorful notecards and stick them all over their laboring space. That way, when you need a word of encouragement, you don't need to ask for them. You can look around your room and find a message meant just for you. You may check out Hynobirthing for Affirmations. They are sensational! 3) Breath We live in a world where control is king. As women, we want to control the labor process, so we will read and research until our brains are numb. We create the ideal birth plan, hoping that much of it will happen the way that we want it to. I want to be real with you ladies. The day your body decides to go into labor is the day you lose all control. Labor is all about surrendering! Surrendering to your body, your baby, and the process it is going to take to deliver a healthy and happy baby, and a new mama! The one thing we can control in labor is our breath. Focus on the breath and learn some different breathing techniques for the stages of labor. Breath is paramount to maximizing those contractions to urge that baby down. Use what you have, YOUR BREATH, to your advantage. 4) Hire a Doula -- There are many evidence-based reasons for having a labor support person with you during your birthing experience. Doulas have the expertise to assist you with physical comforts, emotional support, and information. A doula provides a wealth of support that you wished you had. With all the up's and down's that labor entails, it is worth having someone in the room with you that has a calm demeanor and a sound mind to help you make informed decisions and make you feel safe during your journey through Laborland. Final Thoughts -- If what you are seeking is a natural birth, and all you have is today to prepare for labor, I have only one piece of advice: Ground yourself in love and let all the rest go. Part 1: RelaxationChildbirth practices around the world all seem to carry three similar traits, known as the 3 R's. Some cultures lean on one of the R's more strongly than others but in truth, they all work wonderfully when done in sync with each other.
Below are some tips that I have come to find as the most helpful. They all encompass the 3 R's in one way or another: Let's start with the first R: RELAXATION 1) Setting the stage -- Relaxation looks different from woman to woman. The key is to envision the most relaxing atmosphere that looks right for you -- and make your birthing room like it! So let's create the ULTIMATE spa day for your birth experience!! Here are some suggestions to make your birthing space a personalized spa: a) Essential Oils - Lavender in an oil diffuser (add Wild Orange for an uplifting scent) b) Dim Lighting and/or LED candles c) Music - Calming like a spa or motivating like a workout. Whatever sets the mood for each stage of labor! d) Comfy clothes - You really don't HAVE to wear those ugly gowns at the hospital. Your own cozy robe can help you feel at ease in a hospital or birthing center room. e) Things that feel like home - Blankets, pillows, slippers, birth art, music, significant trinket, etc. Bring WHATEVER makes you feel most at home. This is YOUR space so make it your OWN. You'll be glad you did! 2) Touch -- A day at the spa wouldn't be complete without a massage now would it?! You deserve some TLC during labor. Make sure your partner knows what you like and don't like beforehand. Practice techniques and positions that feel the most comforting to you. Soft touch that induces goosebumps increases seratonin and oxytocin, the happy hormones that keep labor progressing. Alternatively, firm pressure can ease those achy spots and feel grounding. Foot massages and acupressure are relationship savers!! Email me for a special handout for your significant other to do on you throughout your pregnancy and labor! Lastly, counter-pressure can ease back labor when nothing else can. It is the #1 mainstay support amongst laboring women. 3) Water -- What spa doesn't have a jet tub option?! Also referred to ask the "Aquadural"-- it works wonders. Water has a calming effect on laboring mothers. There is just something about water. I have never heard any complaints about water in labor, whether it be by tub or shower. A water birth can have amazing results for minimizing tearing and having a very calm baby emerge. 4) Chiropractic -- Now the birthing team is complete! A natural modality in healthcare, chiropractic care has been proven to short labor and assist baby in getting into an optimal occipital fetal position for birthing (occiput: head down facing mom's spine). Make sure your chiropractor practices the Webster technique in case of a breech or posterior positioned baby. They will know how to safely and gently turn the baby into a better position in the last weeks of pregnancy. Speaking of baby's optimal fetal position, practice popular poses like hands and knees, yoga ball bouncing and moving those hips around. Lastly, PLEASE don't rest in a reclining sofa or chair. The year of the La-z-Boy recliner was a momentous year for C-Section rates and posterior positioned babies. Read more on posterior babies here: https://spinningbabies.com/learn-more/baby-positions/posterior/ There you have it! RELAXATION...Ahhhhh...Now go rest up and anticipate Part 2 to come very soon -- where we talk about RHYTHM. Blessings to you all beautiful people! |
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